My craft supplies are dusty

I've been thinking about getting out some craft stuff and doing something. I think my sister has inspired me a little. That and the fact that she and I are going to exchange something handmade for Christmas. Only 53 days, 1 hour, 2 minutes and 53 seconds - according to Santa's official countdown clock. I know what I want to do, and I have some of the materials, but I'm having self-doubts that what I make will turn out good enough for my standards. Like the altered book I started last year for her - that I was too scared to put together. I had most of the parts collected and I froze. So, she never received it. Sorry, Ang.

And I convince myself I'm too busy and it's too difficult to get things out and put them away with 2 toddlers running wild. I think it's mostly just me being a nut case. More meds, please? Like I need another scrip.

I hate, too, that my craft stuff is so unorganized, and that I don't have room for what I have, but I can't seem to walk out of the craft store without a bag of stuff. I always tell myself that I might get inspired - someday. Probably the same day I get inspired to clean my bedroom. Ugh. I guess digging out of depression is a long process.

My son was very sad tonight. My in-laws dropped by to check on the progress of their insane driveway project (more later) and pulled into their driveway. They beeped at him, Granddad got out and looked around and they left. J sat on his daddy's lap and cried. He asked later if they left because he didn't run down to see them. I'm glad DH was there to comfort him.

The driveway project. Remember the verse, "A fool and his money are easily parted"? Well... FIL is having the top of his driveway enlarged - cutting out the curbs and sidewalk and our former vegetable garden, and putting in steps in the remaining bank. So there will be more parking at the top of the driveway. (For all their non-existing guests.) I told MIL maybe he can park the trailers there during the summer instead of the driveway behind our house. Yeah, right. Anyway, this project will cost about $6000.

Do you know what we could do with six grand? We've been dreaming about buying a wind generator for the house since the wind never stops here. And the living room ceiling fan needs to be replaced. And then there's the bathroom that needs to be fixed so the shower doesn't fall into the garage below. We're looking at buying a new fridge/freezer for the basement - which we would love to finish off. And we'd love to buy a half a beef to put in the new freezer. And we could really use new windows. And we're counting the days until we need to buy a newer vehicle. I told DH we should make a list for the landlord - Ha.

I know I shouldn't care what he does with her money - b/c that's what it is - but it burns me that he thinks he should blow through it all so that he doesn't have to leave anything to his kids. Cause Dr. Phil said that, you know.

Alright. I'm going to go to bed now because my mood isn't improving. Thanks for letting me vent.