Rude men

who think they're funny make me mad.

A couple weeks ago I wrote about how a small group of men/people were talking when I came in on a Sunday night. The deacon's wife announced that she'd just be bold, and started asking me questions in a rude way.

Well, FF to this past Friday evening. A group of us met at church to clean up, and set up for the dinner to be held on Saturday night for the pastoral candidate and his family. I was in the bathroom cleaning, and the deacon (whose wife went after me) was saying we should do the basement floor that night. He was joking. The plan is to put garage floor paint on our basement floor, and it takes a while to set up. Someone asked if he had bought the stuff to do it. He said he hadn't; it needed to be brought up in the business meeting next week b/c it was above the $ amount set in the constitution. Then he jokingly said that he hadn't b/c no one had told him what color to buy. (Two colors had been discussed.)

This old guy who makes snotty comments about my husband and me says, "Besides. You'd better run it through the Ladies' Fellowship first anyway." I said from in the bathroom, "I heard that." I came out and looked at him, and said, "That was snotty." He laughed, "That's just my personality." I should have not responded; or I wish I had said something different. But I was mad. I told him it was my personality to confront. I wish I had told him that that was immature, or something else. I don't know. This guy sits on his butt and directs others, and then takes credit. And when he is given a responsibility, he drops the ball. Then later, a couple of the men were sitting down chatting. This guy said he was having a difficult time being excited about the weekend (the candidate coming.) I said from across the hall that maybe he needed to be praying that the Lord would give him an attitude adjustment. Our interim pastor laughed. But I feel like maybe HE was the one who should have been saying it.

Why can't I just keep my mouth shut?

I like them

I like the pastoral candidate and his wife. Now to see if the boy, I mean, man can preach. :)

Insulin, email and other things

So we got the shipment of Little Boy's Humalog last week (or the week before, I can't remember). But when DH opened it, it didn't seem as cold as it should have. He called the insurance company, who recommended we try it and see if there were any problems.

When it came time to open a new vial, DH decided to use the newer, "warm" insulin. And we've had high numbers. So today his lunch number was in the 290s and I opened another vial - an older one. Now we're interested to see what his number is tonight.

I tried to get into my email today. The company has merged a couple services, and since mine is a sub-account something happened and I can't get into it. I need to get a phone number, to call a place that hasn't shipped a case of alcohol wipes that I ordered in January?

It's snowing here. Again. "It's Spring!" ha! "April Fool's!" Little Boy's ball practice has been cancelled. He's supposed to have practice Tuesday night. Unless it snows.

Baby fell off her chair at lunch. This is like her 3rd crash/wipe-out in as many days. She and Little Boy were jumping on her bed yesterday, and she fell off the bed and landed on her back. She's still complaining that it aches. Back to the chair. I told her that that wouldn't have happened if she had been sitting correctly. That I've never seen someone sitting correctly in their chair just fly across the room. She laughed and then went back to crying.

Little Boy still hates school. But today a book came in the mail. "Mud!" We looked at the pictures and tried to figure out what was happening. Then he read it. And laughed. And finished by saying, "That was an easy book." I'm hoping that if I can find some more easy books that make him laugh he'll keep it up.

April 1st

I tried to explain April Fool's Day to my 5 and 7 year olds. They don't get it. We're not much into playing jokes on each other here.

It's been a busy week, and it's going to continue right on through the weekend.

Yesterday was haircuts for all of us, and last night I took Baby to ballet and out to eat while Daddy and Little Boy went to get their haircuts.

Tonight is cleaning and setting up at the church for the dinner tomorrow night. I'll take Baby with me while Daddy takes Little Boy to his first baseball practice. Maybe. It's been so cold, they've cancelled the last two practices b/c of snow.

Tomorrow Daddy meets with the pulpit committee and the candidate, and in the evening we have the dinner. I also have to get the bulletin done.

Sunday is church. SS, AM and PM. I'm just glad it's Daddy's long weekend off and he'll be there to help me out and to lead the service. And I'm thankful Tina will be there to teach children's church so I will get to be in the service for the message.

Monday is recuperation day.

March - Days 30 & 31

Yesterday's challenge - your favorite song. I don't know that I have an all-time favorite. But this is the song I can't get enough of right now. "What Faith Can Do" by Kutless. I get chills when the drummer plays the first shimmery sound on the cymbal.



Today's challenge - the best thing about being me.

The best thing about being me would have to be being married to my husband and loving on our two children. They all are the answer to many prayers when I was single and lonely, and God gave me everything I asked for and more.

Anxiety

So last night I bought my tickets to Spokane. I think. I double, triple, quadruple checked everything, but I am always afraid I missed something or messed something up. I might be going to Texas or Alabama or something.

And now the low-level anxiety begins. I am already feeling nervous. Going a new place, by myself? And having to get to the airport on time or else... I need a pill. A big, fat chill pill.

March - Day 29

In this past year, what have I learned.

I don't know. Because right now my blood pressure just peaked. Between my son who cannot chew gum without sounding like a slobbery cow, and the fact that he can't close the door without getting the rug stuck. And then there's the stubborn little princess who lives in this house who makes breakfast MISERABLE. She asks for food and then refuses to eat it. Even with the promise of an orange when she finishes. And then she acts like I'm mean for expecting her to eat what she asked for!

AAAaaarrrrgggghhhh!

I know what I've learned in the last 5 minutes! Birth control is a VERY GOOD THING.

March - Day 28

A pic of you (me) from last year and this year, and how have you (I) changed?

No Way.

I'm tired of the picture challenges.

I've gained weight. 'Nuff said.

Mother's love

This is not meant to offend my wonderful SIL who cuts her sons' hair short!

But I asked my son if he knew that I love him.

Yeah.

Do you know how you can know I love you?

Uhhh. How?

Because I don't cut your hair to look like a chemo patient.

I follow a cute blog. The mom just buzzed her 3 older kids' hair. She must have taken off the attachments b/c you can barely see where their hair should be.

I think they look pitiful.

She thinks they're washable. LOL.

Giving

DH and I were discussing tonight about how much Americans have and how we take it all for granted. He was telling me about a Ch*nese Bible study. This person taught for days on end - 8 hour days - about the Old Testament. And when he was done, they asked him to teach about the New Testament. We get antsy if the speaker goes longer than 45 minutes.

We also talked about how little Americans give to others. Even though we are the most generous nation on Earth. And when we do give, we feel so great that we donated $20 or even $50. We (I'm speaking of my husband and I) do feel great about the $$$ we donated to our church last year. And yet. We do not give sacrificially. We do not give until it hurts.

Glenn Beck has proposed a day of giving - a day of charity. I like Glenn. I think he has a good heart. But I think he likes to make everything hyped up. I used to watch him daily, but lately the bad news w/o suggestions or remedies makes me too frustrated to watch.

But I am mulling this idea he has proposed. He is asking that on April 21st, people give a bag of groceries to a random person. He likened it to a flash mob of sorts. I'll write about the experience if I decide to follow through on it. I'm afraid I'd find someone who didn't really need it, and they'd be offended. But I'm thinking about it.

March - Day 27

Why are you doing this challenge? I thought it would be fun to write each day without having to come up with the topic myself. Not that it's difficult, but I thought it would be a motivator to get back to writing every day.

March - Day 26

What I think of my friends.

My closest friends are great. Angela, Tammy, Anna, Gina... I would trust them with my life. I would even trust a couple of them with my kids' lives. lol I would do whatever was in my power to help them.

I have plenty of other acquaintances. I think it's too much work to groom any of them into a close friend.

March - Day 25

What you would find in my bag pocketbook purse.

2 Checkbooks, a calculator, my pink and white giraffe-print wallet, several pens, lipstick, 3 crayons, gum, shopping list, nail clippers, cell phone, appointment book, ibuprofen, sunglasses and some bendy straws.

I carry a little baggy with bendy straws for my kids. If we stop somewhere to eat, my kids can drink without having to get up on their knees or taking the cup off the table. It helps us all have a much more enjoyable meal since Mommy isn't freaking out about spills.

I like my purse. It isn't leather, but it feels like it's super soft leather. Soon it will be time to put it away until next winter.

March - Day 24

Your last 5 Facebook status reports.

I am screaming at the lady doctor on The Doctors. She keeps making generalized comments about diabetes. Type 2 runs in families. Type 2 can be managed by food choices/portion size and exercise. Type 2 is not the same as Type 1!

So far, so good with Baby this morning. She wasn't too happy when I told her I think she and I can do a page of school work. Little Boy told me that would hurt her head; now she's repeating him. @@ Thanks, brother.

Barfing baby girl. :-(!!!! She did feel well enough to pick out her Easter dress, though. Looks like I'll be staying home from church tonight. sigh

Came away from church feeling much better this week than last! Three blessings today!

Baffled, concerned, frustrated... Little Boy's numbers are running high. At lunch time he was 327! Hope we can figure it out. :0(

March - Day 23

Something you crave.

Salty and Sweet. Some days my mouth waters at the thought of Salt & Vinegar potato chips, and some days I have to have a Kit Kat.

But the thing that I have to have every day? Hugs and kisses from my growing-way-too-fast kids babies.

March - Day 22

What makes you different from everyone else. I don't know!

Everyone is unique, so is being unique actually unique?

I think the things that make people unique are their experiences. The combination of good things and the bad things that we've gone through, and the way we allow those things to affect us.

Each thing in and of itself isn't so significant. But the varied combinations make us unique.

I'm a child of the 60s. I'm a second child. My parents were gifted, but thoroughly flawed. See, so far not so unique. I've moved 14 times. I've worked as a secretary, a teacher, an accounting clerk, an administrative assistant for a professional orchestra, a teacher...

I could go on and on. It's so boring; I'm boring myself.

My son is a T1. Each day, more children are diagnosed. So that doesn't make me (or him) unique. But it does set us apart. I watch cooking shows. It may be simple to whip up a meal, but then I have to count the carbs. And I see pictures of people at parties, having a great time. Parties make me sweat. How do I count the carbs?

I homeschool my kids. Most days we just get by. Occasionally, we work something fun in. But my son hates school, so we are doing good just to get through the basics before we have a meltdown. And the fun stuff doesn't motivate him to enjoy it more; he just wants to do more of the fun stuff. Although, the last couple days he has read from a book about construction that he enjoys without fussing. That's been refreshing.

I enjoy singing. I am fairly good. I'm not really recording artist material.

Dang. This is supposed to be fun, but this is just depressing. I'm.. so... average.

March - Day 21

A picture of something that makes you happy.

My kids, getting along, having fun. This is from our trip to Wisconsin last summer.

Easter Dress

Yesterday I found 3 options for Baby. This is the dress she picked.
She asked me if it will be warm on Easter. She has a sweet little white sweater to wear with it. I also recently bought her a lilac colored trench coat. She's going to look adorable. :0)

This Sunday

So last Sunday night I left church angry. I haven't spoken to the deacon's wife who went after me. I did cancel/postpone the cleaning day. I don't plan on being the one to reschedule it. And I am afraid that I will not be available to help on the day it is rescheduled.

Blessing 1 - My student came today. I hope I am an encouragement to him. I try. He comes from a broken home; he lives with his grandmother and on weekends sometimes goes to his father's house and occasionally goes to his mother's house. He has so much potential.

Blessing 2 - One of the ladies at church handed me a gift bag. She had a couple others she was passing out. When I opened it, it was just some little goodies, but it was an encouragement. She always has something positive to say.

Blessing 3 - Our new interim pastor's wife talked to me after church about helping out with teaching children's church. She offered to take turns teaching 2 weeks at a time. As I was leaving, I mentioned to another girl that if she was still interested in helping, I'd like to work her into the rotation, too. That way, we'd each have 4 weeks in the service, and 2 out. She said she'd be willing. Wow. I feel so much relief. I've been teaching my SS class when my student(s) come, and children's church every Sunday (with 3 exceptions) for over 6 months now.

And sadly, after she woke up from her nap, Baby had a couple barfing incidents. So I stayed home with her. Which actually is blessing 4 - I don't have to even see "that" lady. And Baby and I got to spend some time together watching a new episode of Olivia. :0)

March - Day 20

Someone you love.

How do I pick just one? I have a small group of close friends/family who love me. But I have to pick my husband.

We met in our 30s and married a year after we met on a Christian dating site. But for the first 6 months, we communicated long distance. That wasn't easy, but looking back it was a blessing. We spent every minute "together" talking. We didn't chit-chat about where to go, or what to do. We talked. We did Bible/book studies over the phone. We prayed together. We talked about favorites, pet peeves, hopes and dreams. We shared our frustrations and heartaches. We learned all about each other. I don't think there were very many surprises when we actually met and spent time together. We had an easy, smooth transition when I did move here.

He loves me inspite of all my shortcomings. He loves me in deed. Almost daily he cleans up the kitchen, and often clears the table. He loads and unloads the dishwasher. He washes his own laundry, and often throws the kids' clothes in, too. By the end of the day, when my legs, feet and back are killing me, he is my hero. He comforts me when I am hard on myself. He insists that our children speak to me in a respectful way. That really is a blessing.

I LOVE that man! I'm so glad God brought us together!

March - Day 19

Nicknames you have and why.

I don't have any now, per se. I mean, I go by a common form of my proper name, so I guess that's a nickname. So I guess "Mommy" and "Sweetie" are the closest. The first is pretty self-explanatory, and my DH and I call each other Sweetie. We've called each other that since before we met in person, and I remember the first time I had to call to him by his name, it felt weird.

When I was little my parents called me Miss America. They said it was because they thought I was so beautiful and because I had a Miss America behind. lol I think I know what they mean when I look at my daughter. My sister had plenty of nicknames for me, and in Jr. Hi, the High schoolers called me Shorty. I think I was only 4'10" in 10th grade, so that one explains itself, too. That freaks me out a bit, since my 7 year old son is already 4'5"!

March - Day 18

Plans/dreams/goals you have.

Where do I start?
I'd love to get my house cleaned and organized. We are on the verge...
I want to take my kids to Disney World. This is something that I wanted to do as a kid, but we were never financially able to do. My kids are at the perfect age.
I need to lose weight. I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror any more than absolutely necessary.
I would love to be more organized; I think it would help us all be less irritated.

Dream? That someone else could make all the above happen and it wouldn't require any pain or adjustments on our part. ha. Okay, not just a dream... A pipe dream. (sigh)

March - Day 17

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Hope you don't get pinched!

Someone you would like to trade places with for one day and why.

I asked my DH this question. He said he'd trade places with the president so he could repeal all the laws he's passed. And he'd tell 'em (Congress) to hurry up and he'd sign a bunch of bills. But since there wouldn't be time for that, he'd write a bunch of executive orders. I told him that would be fine for him, but would that mean that the President would be here in his place? blech

I am not sure who I'd trade places with. Since this is hypothetical, I'd trade places with a professional organizer who lives in a quiet home, with a housekeeper and a chef. One day of quiet while my home gets a make over.

Oh well.

March - Day 16

Another picture of yourself.

Good grief, people.

This was taken after Baby's ballet; I love the look on her face.

March - Day 15

Put your iPod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play.

I don't have an iPod. ;0)

March - Day 14

A picture of you and your family. I think this is the last time we got our picture taken as a family - last Easter. When Baby had a shiner.

Ouch

I'm getting tired of getting attacked. I walked into church tonight and a deacon's wife started interrogating questioning me about a date we decided to meet and clean out the old Sunday school building. She started out by stating, "Well, I'm just going to be bold." What the heck? Do people really think they have to be confrontational when talking to me? And then she starts in, questioning what MY plan is, do I have a truck, am I going to haul stuff away, what do I plan to do with the stuff that is in the building, and on and on. I noticed the one guy adjusting his neck, watching to see what my reaction would be. I wasn't very happy. She ends it with, "Well, I just wanted to know what you were thinking."

I tried to be gracious; I was really working to control my facial expressions. I wanted to say, "Uh, no. You don't want to know what I am thinking."

DH is at work; I called him on the way home. He told me I should just cancel the cleaning day. I don't know what to do. I do know my face was hot even at the end of the service.

March - Day 13

A letter to someone.

Wow. This is so totally cool. I couldn't believe how easy this one was!

To my husband: Q.

March - Day 12

I found out about blogger through my sister-in-law. She sent me an invitation to her blog, and I loved the idea. I've tried journaling in the past, but haven't been very consistent. I thought this would be a great way to just write about the little things that happen through the day.

I like to try to work things out in my head or on paper before I act. I think that is one reason my husband and I have such a great relationship. I work out the craziness in my head instead of laying it all on him, and then having to apologize later. We've been married 10 1/2 years, and we've had disagreements and irritations, but we've never had a verbal argument. Yet. The day isn't over, is it. :0S

Do little boys get PMS?

My son has been touchy, weepy, and grumpy all morning. I've asked him about his blood sugar. He doesn't think he's low. I think he woke up too early. Regardless, he's hanging out in his room until his daddy gets home.

My husband's place of work called. Said they didn't know if DH could work today. HUH? When he burned his arm in January, he was automatically placed on restriction. He's been cleared to return to work, but there was no note that the restriction was lifted. A new rule is that people working on a restriction cannot work shift work. Well, seeing that he's worked shift work since the day after the accident, I think it's pretty lame that they are now trying to implement it. I think it has more to do with the extra shift hours that are available right now while they try to get a machine back online.

Today the men on the pulpit search committee met with Dave M. He's been filling the pulpit, and the men asked if he'd consider being the interim pastor. I'm anxious to see what DH has to say about the meeting.
I should figure out lunch.

So, DH had to call the medical center, and the doctor's assistant said she'd sign the paper releasing DH from the work restriction. Otherwise, if she hadn't, DH would have had to have been officially called off his shift, and the employer would have had to pay his wages for the time he was scheduled (he's on the schedule through next week). So he could have had some more vacation time!

He told me Dave has agreed to be the interim pastor for 3 months. After that, if he's interested in pursuing it, he'd put in his resume, etc., for the permanent position. We do have a possible candidate that they've interviewed on the phone. JB is supposed to come preach, but the soonest he can come is in April. And there is so much to get done before that happens...

March - Day 11

Another picture of you and your friends.


I don't know why this is so small. But this is a pic of me and 3 friends in college. It was the last day of our sophomore year, I think. About '88, I guess. We're all still friends, and FB is great for keeping in touch. :0)

Financial Crisis

I watched a video today put out by an investment firm. I realize they wanted people to buy their information about investment plans, and I don't think we are really interested in that. It was mentioned that the average American carries about $8K in credit card debt. Thankfully, we got our tax return last week, and my DH paid off our last credit card. We are now debt-free. PRAISE GOD!

But one thing he said, that really struck me, was that people should have 6 months worth of food, water and medicines stocked up.

We have begun storing food, and I feel a bit anxious when I think about it. I plan to do some canning this spring/summer/fall. I don't know if we'll be putting in a garden, but while I can, I want to buy things from local growers to can.

I guess the thing that worries us the most is having 6 months of medicines on hand. We can stockpile all the food and water we can, but not insulin. And without buying test strips outright, we can only get 3 months of them at a time.

After watching the video, I got online and ordered our next delivery on what I could.

March - Day 10

Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, anxious or bored.

I have a 6 CD changer in my car. Right now, I have Grover Levy, Building 429, Natalie Grant, an accompaniment CD of a Mandissa song, Leeland, and the Imagination Movers.

Unless I'm listening to talk radio if I'm alone in the car, I flip through the CDs looking for whatever songs I'm in the mood for.

March - Day 9

Something you're proud of in the past couple days.

I guess I'd say I'm proud of my husband. He sometimes gets a little riled, but he always keeps his cool for other people. There are many things that he could get upset with at church, but he's always gracious.

He's a good example to me.

March - Day 8

Short term goals for this month and why.


1. Start/Finish my Sunday school classroom.
2. Clean something.

Because both are desperately needed. LOL
How's that?

Am I Nuts?

I was looking at airfare to Spokane, WA where my friend just moved. I found a ticket for a fairly reasonable price, and asked DH if it would be feasible on his long weekend in April/May. Looks like I may be going if her husband doesn't have plans for that weekend.

We've been friends since college, and she's come to visit me several times. I only made the trek to South Dakota a couple times - her wedding and her first child - both times in December! Talk about cold! I was in her wedding, and she was in mine ten years later. So now she's in a new place and feeling a bit lost and lonely. I thought it would be a good opportunity to go visit.

I haven't flown since Little Boy was a baby. It makes me a bit nervous thinking about it. There are still some details to consider, but it should be fun.

March - Day 7

A picture of something/someone that has made a huge impact on my life.

March - Day 6

List your 5 favorite TV shows.

1. The Mentalist
2. White Collar
3. CSI
4. Criminal Minds
5. Bones

Not really in order of favorite-est to lesser favorite-est.

Love the character of Patrick Jane, love Neal Caffrey and Mozzie, love Temperance Brennan. I guess I like the quirky ones. :0)

Church Decor Meeting

These are the colors we chose. The light color is called Cream in My Coffee, and the darker color is called Moose Mousse; it's going to be the accent color.

So we had a brief meeting after the morning service regarding church decor. This could have been ugly, with many chiefs wanting to be THE chief. I had asked LC to coordinate the colors and design. She's very sweet, but a bit quiet and timid. I was afraid if it went badly, she'd be scarred. Thankfully, the Lord was in control. SR suggested that LC show us the color swatches LC has in her new hair salon. She pulled them out, and everyone LOVED them. We talked about eventually transitioning the whole building into one cohesive color scheme. We have burgundy carpet, and mauve-ish tweed pews. We have ugly sky-blue and royal front doors, and a sign with blue paint. I mentioned that we would like to work them all into the same color scheme. SR, whose voice is like nails on a chalkboard, said, "I have burgundy in my house, but that color is going out of style." I just said that right now, that's what we have to work with, and until we have a pile of money, we have to work with it indefinitely. She just said we shouldn't make everything burgundy. Uhhh. We don't have to make it burgundy, but we do have to work with that color.

So, while the blue paint that was put up on the wall as an example of what the focal wall would look like, it doesn't mesh with the rest of the building. We have to tread lightly when it comes to our front doors. The man who painted them is currently dealing with deep depression. It wouldn't be our intention to offend him, but we shouldn't have to live with ugly doors either. Oh well.

SR started getting crazy with "accent walls". I said if you have too many, they aren't accent walls anymore. I got one giggle from a girl. I also said we really don't want to draw attention to the ugly brick wall with ugly conduit coming down for electrical outlets. LC said which walls would work best as accent walls, everyone agreed, and the meeting was basically done. LC and I talked a little longer about what finish the paint should be.

And then KM came down. She had wanted to be at the meeting. But she got cornered by a lady who said she gave the former pastor's wife, DL, a cookbook. DL was not happy that her recipes are in the book, and asked us to remove them. ROFL. ROLLING EYES. The books are printed and will soon be paid for. If she wants, she can take a marker and cross whatever she wants out of her own copy. I intentionally left them in so no one would be offended. I would hope she would appreciate the book for the recipes of some of our older members, some of whom have passed away. It is sad that she is so bitter. I think our church has treated them quite well considering.

The SS teacher who has the cabinet came and talked to me. She wanted to know if I would be able to take the little table back to Sam's. I told her I would find a use for it there, or I'd use it at home. Then she wanted to be sure it was ok for her to take that cabinet. (NOW you're asking?) I told her it was ok, but that I was upset when I saw the mess. She said she and KM came back last night to clean it up, but it was done. Yeah. I know. I said since no one said anything or left a note or anything, I figured it was left for me to clean it up. She apologized. It ended ok. I need to call her and let her know it's ok.

So other than the one lady with a beef about our former pastor, today has gone well.

Other than the snow. ugh.

Kids

So the last couple days I've been way too stressed out. My kids don't always help me relax, but tonight I'm sitting here listening to them.

Baby is getting her shower. Daddy gives showers because he loves me. (He knows that it kills my back to reach into the shower.) He is teasing her, and I love to hear her giggle-turned-laugh. Soon it will be my turn to wash her hair. Little Boy is playing with the lid to a box. He cut out a door in it, and it's his "breaker box." Can you tell he's been spending time working at church with Daddy? Or maybe that's from the other day when we had a power surge, and Daddy had to flip the breakers back on. Or from watching Mike Holmes.

He hums while he plays. And compliments himself on his careful, safe, construction.

DH worked on my classroom today. He has a couple more spots to patch and sand on my walls. The men who did the work are not as meticulous as he is. I'm just glad when my classroom is done, it will be done well.

Little Boy is requesting that I beat him in Mario Cart. LOL He asked so sweetly, I couldn't say no. It probably helps that I got a nap today, too.

The Mess - Part 2

So I spent two hours at church today, cleaning up the mess that other people made.

Lovely.

It's done.

But I'm still mad.

March - Day 5

A picture of somewhere you've been.



This is Lake Tahoe in California. I went there when I was a nanny. The dad was on the ski patrol and had to work so many days a year. We all went out for a week. It was the first time I flew in an airplane, the first time I drove an AWD vehicle, and the first time I skied. I got private lessons, which was nice. I was a little lonely, but it was a nice week.

A Mess

At church we teachers are moving from our old OLD red building into our new classrooms in the church basement. People have been working to finish classrooms. Today I stopped at church to drop Little Boy off so he could work with his daddy.

The kids and I went into the basement to take a peek at the room people were working on last night. They decided to not use the table I bought, so I now own another folding 4 foot rubbermaid table. I don't mind. I know I can use it. The teacher, kinda snarkily commented, "I won't be able to use it if I have more than 2 students." She only has one student right now. And I said she had room for 6 students with her sitting away from the table. WhatEVER. But it would have been nice if they hadn't used it for a paint can holder while they were painting last night, ya know?

I noticed a white cabinet in the room. It looked cute in there, and I wondered where they got it. It kinda looked like the one I have been using for children's church stuff in the red building in the room where we have the church copy machine.

I ran into the red building to grab keys to unlock the upstairs door - I needed to get the attendance and offering numbers for the bulletin. When I was coming out of the red building, I noticed the table where we have children's church was piled high. And the white cabinet was gone.

Those horrible women emptied that cabinet onto the table in a huge pile and took the cabinet to that classroom!

It wasn't "my" cabinet. It wasn't in "my" Sunday school classroom. But don't you think that if someone is using it, it would be courteous to ask. And don't you think you could stack the stuff neatly, or find a box to put things in? And don't you think you'd at least say something after the fact? I just don't even know how to react/respond at this point. I'm quite disgusted that they would think it was ok to leave that mess for someone else (ME) to clean up.

March - Day 4

A habit I wish I didn't have.

Hmm. My first thought was that it would probably be food related, but then it came to me.

I absolutely HATE it when I have something in my hand, and I put it down somewhere and can't find it.

And it happens way too often.

I'm sad, mad and frustrated.

I opened a discussion at our ladies' meeting regarding the decor for our church basement now that the remodel is close to being finished. I had overheard a couple different people's ideas, and the ideas didn't mesh. And personally, I didn't like their ideas. So I thought by opening the discussion, we could at least decide to try to go in the same direction. I asked a lady to try to coordinate the ideas and come up with a plan. We decided to have a meeting after this coming morning's service and open the meeting up to the men, too. And then from that discussion, this lady could present her ideas to us.

Today, I got a call from one of the ladies from church who wasn't able to be at the meeting. "Did you decide on a color for the church basement at your meeting? So-and-so's husband just dropped off a five-gallon bucket of blue paint for the basement. My husband is working there; he said the color is going to make the basement look small. The man said he can't take it back now that it's mixed. I thought we were going to go with the color I recommended - you know, that golden yellow color I have in my house?"

All I can do is scream. I tried to avoid this. I shoulda just spoken up and told everyone that we already had white paint, and the basement was going to be white. I asked my husband, "Do I have to do everything myself?"

March - Day 3

A picture of you and your friends.

Someone was assuming a lot. Like that I have more than one friend. Ok. I have lots of friends, but very few pictures with them. Here is one from last summer. My friend has the idea that if you put your chin down, and take the pic from above, you can't see our double chins. I guess she's right, but I also think it looks a bit kooky. But she is.

A bit kooky, that is.

Canned Mushrooms

I don't know why, but I prefer canned mushrooms to fresh. I'll eat fresh mushrooms, but given the choice, especially to top pizza, I'd pick canned. I was buying WalMart brand because I liked the taste. But then the taste changed, and I knew they weren't the same.

And then it happened.

I happened to read the label. And I saw the words, "Product of China."

What?!!!

I'm sorry. I just cannot eat them. I know mushrooms are grown in manure-rich soil. I just cannot stand the thought of eating mushrooms grown in Chinese manure-rich soil. I just know their standards are not as high as "ours". Look at all the recalled toys. I sometimes think they are over there laughing at our children playing with contaminated toys.

Back to mushrooms. I started looking at the labels on the other brands. Even Pennsylvania Dutch brand, which btw, are grown in Indonesia. I've found Giorgio brand which are grown in the USA. My new-found favorite.

I was afraid I was going to have to switch to fresh mushrooms. Whew!

March - Day 2

The meaning behind my blog name.

Even though my life isn't all that exciting (not necessarily a bad thing), at the end of the day, I'm glad to have survived. Also, I was thinking of the verse that says, "This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it." And many days I think, "And WHAT a DAY it has been!"

March - Day 1

Recent picture of yourself & 15 interesting facts:

Ok - I'm not sure about the picture. I'll have to see if there are any that aren't too horrible. And I don't know that I'm all that interesting, or if things I think are interesting are actually interesting... And my sister-in-law, who is my one faithful reader, probably knows all these anyway.
1. I live in the mountains.
2. I've lived here for 11 years; the longest I've ever lived in one place.
3. I've now taught students in every grade from Kindergarten to 12th.
4. I have skied in California.
5. I've jumped off a 30' cliff into 80' of water.
6. My favorite comfort-food sandwich is mayo and pickles.
7. My favorite color is purple.
Stink. Am I stuck already? It's late, and I'll have to finish this tomorrow.
8. I was a nanny for a year+ in Chicago for one little girl.
9. I was the administrative assistant for a professional orchestra. (Not as exciting as it sounds.)
10. I have a list of many favorite TV shows that I'm trying to whittle down.
11. When I was a child, and even as a teenager, I was terribly shy.
12. I used to read about 10 books a week when I was in high school. Now I'm lucky to read a couple a year. Maybe if I watched less TV....
13. I almost cut off my large knuckle on my left hand pointer with a huge knife when I was 3, I spent a week in the hospital when I was 5 for dehydration, I had scarlet fever when I was in grade school, I broke my collar bone in 2nd grade, I dislocated my tailbone in high school, I had pleurisy as a young adult, and somewhere along the line I broke my nose (my ENT informed me). Add that to psoriatic arthritis, and I think I've had my fair share.
14. I used to have an astigmatism, but wearing ugly glasses for several years corrected that. No. Really. They were UGLY.
15. I have two children and one baby in heaven.

Ok. So I finished the list.

A couple of the blogs I read are doing the following posts for the month of March. I think I'll try to do them, too. It will give me something to focus on each day. I copied and pasted this list or I would have capitalized the word "day". :0) I'm forcing myself to leave it as it is and not correct them all. (nails digging in ....)

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you and your friends
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been
day 6- 5 favorite TV shows
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, anxious or mad
day 11- another picture of you and your friends
day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one
day 13- a letter to someone
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- another picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them
day 20- someone you love
day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave for a lot
day 24- your last five facebook status'
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- what do you think about your friends
day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- in this past month, what have you learned
day 30- your favorite song
day 31- the best thing about being you

I hope you don't get sick of hearing about me by the end of the month. I'm afraid I might get sick of me by the end.

Church

It's a blessing that Baby was sick. I took Little Boy to Sunday school, and Baby and I ran a couple errands to burn an hour. It was nice to have a day off. Although, I was at church setting things up until 11:30 Saturday night.

The son of a deacon filled the pulpit yesterday. This son lives in Virginia, but came up here just to "bless us". Bless us out, is more like it. His father walked out of a pulpit committee meeting recently, and walked out of church recently over KJV-Only stuff.

I would have been in Children's Church, anyway, but if I had been in the service I would have walked out.

This guy got up and said, "I don't talk to my parents about church stuff..." LIE. I'm sorry, but that was a LIE. He got up and crammed a bunch of KJV-Only stuff down their throats. He was loud, and angry. And he spewed Gail Riplinger lies. I would have walked out. Plain. and. Simple.

I was talking to the wife of a deacon who sat there. I asked her, "Didn't you learn anything from sitting under the last pastor? Why did you sit there?"

One of the ladies talked to the speaker after the service, and told him, "You've reaffirmed my belief in the KJV."

Sad. Little. Lemming.

I'm afraid things are going to get ugly.

Freezing Rain

It started about 6:30 last night and continued through most of the night.

DH is on last shift.

I'd imagine it will take him awhile to scrape his windows.

I'm just praying he'll make it up our "hill" safely.

Is it spring yet?

Tired

I have to say, I am tired. I could use a good day in bed. Without 2 little interuptions. Or maybe I could just go to bed earlier.

I'm a little sad/jealous. I've been browsing some blogs, and most people sharing their Valentine's Day stuff. It would be so nice to go out to dinner with my husband. Not just a quick/rushed stop at Denny's after church for dessert (which was GREAT, btw). But it would be nice to be able to take our time.

I'm irritated. People at church (men) who decided one thing in their pastor search committee meeting, and then today, 2 of the 5 decided to go ahead and do what they wanted anyway. THEN when they were talking to the guy preaching about being our interim pastor, they didn't even bother to call DH over to be included on the discussion. He was close enough to hear what was happening, and went over.

This morning I woke up with a TERRIBLE sinus headache. I took a decongestant and some Motrin. On an empty stomach. So then my stomach started hurting, and I had to eat something. I was feeling pretty miserable. But by the time I left for church, I was feeling ok. If it wasn't for the list of things that I'm responsible for I would have climbed back into bed. I got the kids ready, and DH took them so I could finish getting ready. My To-Do list: Teach Sunday School, run the Praise and Worship slides, sing special music, cookbook sales forms, arrange for cookbooks to be handed out, teach children's church, check on cookbook sales... Isn't that enough? So I got to church, and I had no students. I ran off the forms for the cookbook sales, I didn't have to sing b/c the lady scheduled actually showed up ready to sing. We only did one P & W song, a very capable, responsible lady agreed to take care of the sales stuff, children's church was ok. I knew the kids would like the craft. We used foam hand shapes, and I let them decorate them load them up with big, plastic jewels and my all-time favorite - GLUE DOTS. Our lesson was about clapping our hands, and praising God loudly. (Ps. 47:1) It was a bit light on substance, but the kids had fun. I taught them the song, and we memorized the verse. But by the time Little Boy got to the sanctuary after church, he couldn't remember why we decorated hands. sigh. rolling eyes. But he can tell you what happened last night on the half hour he was allowed to watch of Over the Hedge, and even remembers a couple lines of dialogue. ROLLING EYES. And likes to keep repeating them.

We got McDonalds on the way home. First time in a while - everyone's order was correct. Mark it on the blog calendar.

Yesterday we made a quick trip to Morgantown. I wanted to go to Sam's Club. I picked up a table for another teacher and a set of two pitchers for the church kitchen. And I got the staple items from Sam's - TP, paper towels, green beans, ravioli, Honey Nut Cheerios... you know. I stopped at Michael's and picked up some $1 goodies. I love picking through their rubber stamps in the dollar bin. I found some others on clearance, and I got a new cuttlebug embossing folder and a big circle paper punch. Love it. And the kiddos did pretty good in there, too.

Little Boy has been running low lately. We haven't changed anything. He hasn't been getting more exercise than normal. It is frustrating. From what I've read, occasionally, the pancreas must be able to produce some insulin? IDK. I happened to look at his finger when he had to check while we were in Sam's. He's been poking the same finger repeatedly. The tip of his finger looks terrible. So he's now sportin' a camouflage band-aid on that finger to remind him to not poke it. Poor kid.

Baby came home today with new hair elastics - the kind with the plastic balls? She cracks us up. I put a couple pony tails in, and the next thing we knew, she had the rest tucked into the top elastic of her undies, and she was shimmie-shaking to make them clack into each other. Another thing I never thought I'd say: "Baby, take the hair elastics out of your undies." LOL

Did I mention I'm tired? I should have taken a nap today, but I wanted to watch the Daytona 500. My two faves are out - Biffle and Kenseth. Oh well. My first fave, Elliot Sadler, is now racing in the Nationwide Series. I read an article about it. I think he's a really nice guy with very little ego. (I think you have to have a smidge of an ego to race professionally, but I could be wrong.)

I'm ready for a nap. Or a vacation.

Money & Stuff

Last year we took all the money in our family's savings accounts and paid off a big chunk of credit card debt. Since then, DH has been making double+ payments each month to pay off the last card. With the money we'll get from our tax returns, we'll be able to pay it off. DH almost cried; I got teary. What a relief. And now we need to decide what to do with the "extra" money we'll have. We need to be thinking about a newer vehicle, and I'd like to put some money aside so we can go to Disney. That's probably not at the top of DH's list. I can't help it. I want to take my kids there - badly.

Our church cookbook was delivered here yesterday. I am so excited. They look so good! All that hard work... Is going to help mail a bunch of shoeboxes to kids through Operation Christmas Child!

Teachers striking in Wisconsin. I think parents should organize town hall meetings and force the school officials to fire any teachers who are striking. There are so many teachers out of work, and kids graduating from college who are excited to get into the classrooms. I don't think it would be all that difficult to replace the ones who have decided to not show up. Just my opinion.

Winday. Here you thought it was Friday. But with huge wind gusts here, I think it has earned a new name. Little Boy did get out there to play today. He had fun.

Pastor search - new developments, some possibilities, hard to keep on track in the meeting, and some men blew up at each other at last night's meeting. Someone stormed out angry. You know. Same old, same old.

So busy - doing what?

I feel like each day I am so busy, but at the end of the day I have a hard time figuring out what it was that kept me so busy.

Today my leg bothered me all day; it still is. Pain in my ankle/heel - joint pain - radiating up my leg into my hip and sciatic nerve and up into my shoulder - has kept me on my butt most of the day. But tomorrow morning, there is a service guy coming to adjust the angle of the satelite dish. And he'll have to come into my living room. And it's still a pit. So I need to just get at it.

Tomorrow morning Little Boy has therapy, and then at 1:30 Baby and I have a hair appointment. DH is off tomorrow, but with the service guy coming it looks like I'll be taking Baby with us to therapy and keeping Little Boy through our hair appointments. That means lunch out with them. Could be interesting.

Missing my Dad

What today "is" has been in the back of my mind all day; it's been an "off" day all day.

I was 16 when he died, and the pain is still strong enough to make me catch my breath. So many things would be different if he was still here. I don't know what that would mean for my life. I can only look forward to the day I get to see him again, and try to live in a way that honors him.

A box of sunshine and smiles!

DH bought me a box of white grapefruit from Florida again this year for Valentine's Day, and it arrived today. I had one for dessert after lunch. It was so yummy. I have the scent in my head, and it is much quicker-acting than my anxiety meds. :0)

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

I heard a guy on TV say that once, and it struck me funny and stuck in my head. LOL

So my team won! Gotta love it. It's been a long time since the Packers were at the Super Bowl, and this year they got there the hard way. It was great to see them win.

We didn't have a party or anything. We DVRd the show since we went to church last night. That made it nice; we fast forwarded through the commercials and half-time show. I might go back and watch commercials later, but I've been told we didn't miss much.

My husband is a Steelers fan. We had fun; Little Boy cheered with Daddy, and Baby cheered harrassed the guys with Mommy. She kept needling: "Daddy, your team has a ZERO." "Daddy, your team has a 3." "Daddy, your team is losing."

And then she found a baby wash cloth. It is purple, with cute trim. She asked if it was a "terrible towel". I told her if she was getting out of the tub, and that was what she had to dry off with, it would definitely be a terrible towel. DH was laughing at me, because I cracked myself up. LOL

We let the kids stay up to watch the end. It was a special event, and I hoped they'd sleep in this morning.

No such luck. Oh well. Maybe we used up all our "luck" last night. :0)

Don't shoot your fellow soldier.

My kids have been fighting a LOT lately. Mean words, ugly voices, sassy faces... it wears on a person. They don't get time apart. They need time apart. We've talked about them being on the same team, that soldiers shouldn't shoot their fellow soldiers. But tonight, they must work together. They have the job of cleaning up the living room. It's become a pit. A colossal mess. And I don't have the energy to clean up their piles of toys. I don't know where they'll put them in their rooms. I don't really care. I'm tired of tripping on toys. I can only kick so many of them under our 3 couches. (Rolling eyes.)

And today, I almost blew a gasket. They were allowed to go outside to play. I called them in. Baby answered, but as I waited I wondered if they were coming. I called again. I could hear them, but they sounded very far away. I went outside. They were sliding on the ice crusted on top of the snow. They were sliding a LONG way - into the neighbor's yard. It was probably a lot of fun. I called them in, and re-warmed their lunches. And still, no kids. I went outside again. They were playing in the snow by the driveway. And I lost my temper. Stink.

I gave them directions and went to my room. I needed to cool off.

They ate and went to bed. And tonight, instead of going next door to visit their grandparents, they are cleaning.

Awwwww!

That's what Little Boy said today when he came out into the living room.

"Awwww! It's just not the same!"

EXACTLY!

Last night I had HAD it. The Christmas Tree HAD to come down. We did it in about an hour.

So now there is an empty spot that will soon be filled with the chair. The spot where the chair is will soon be filled with a big bin for toys. And hopefully the mine field that is now my living room floor will be cleared again.

Yay!

Decisions

I wish it was easier to make important decisions. I guess, usually I can be more decisive. But this decision involves the lives of so many other people. If I had to make a decision right now regarding the pastoral candidate we just hosted, I would have to vote "no".

I was talking to a lady from church who feels pretty much the same way. She asked me what it would take to turn my vote into a "yes". I don't know.

The head deacon texted my husband that the committee needs to meet. Apparently he and his wife have finally compared notes, and he now knows that she will vote no and he will vote yes. Hmm. I'd hate to be living in that mess.

Thankfully my husband is as unsure as I am.

Ok. Now what?

DH is a Steelers fan, and I'm a Cheesehead. If he was more competitive, or if his quarterback hadn't disappointed him by lifestyle choices, it could be more "hairy" here. He said with the scandals Roethlisberger has been involved in, he would be happy watching the Packers win.

Cool.

Go Green Bay!

I just can't help it

I was born a Cheesehead. And I love to watch the Packers play. The worst part? I can't yell! DH and the kids are napping!

GO GREEN BAY!

Praying for God's Eyes

We met the pastoral candidate and his wife and daughter today. Hmm. I don't want to describe them physically. They aren't the world's idea of beautiful. But they are kind, respectful and genuine. They really seem humble and willing to serve.

I haven't heard him preach in person, so I'm trying to reserve my "judgment." I think I'm so weary that I am looking forward to someone to shoulder the load.

I might go into more detail at another time, but right now I need to get some meds and lie down.

I just pray that God will help me see this minister and his family through HIS eyes. And it bothers me that I have to fight off the shallowness, because I'm not anything all that special myself.

Blustery Day

We don't live in the Hundred Acre Woods. But it has been very cold and windy here. 16 degrees with 40 mph gusts of wind - my two children are sitting on the couch, looking out the windows, wishing they could be out there. The snow has melted or blown away, and the ugly brown grass is showing - again.

My stomach has been giving me trouble; I think it's a bit of anxiety for tomorrow. We have a man coming to candidate to be pastor of our church. As much as I keep reminding myself that what will be will be, and I'm really just looking forward to someone coming to give the people at church some direction. (I'm getting so tired of being the voice of reason.)

I got a package in the mail today. My most recent CBD order. Little Boy and I just watched the end of the Brad Stine video I got. He makes me laugh. I think my dad would have thought he's funny. It's good to laugh.

Proud of my kids

Baby, Little Boy and M*** - saying Psalm 1 during the morning service yesterday. I think it's important for them to get recognition for what they do, even if there are only three of them. They did a good job. They are holding papers so they don't fidget too much. LOL

Squealing, Barking and Crying

And those are only some of the sounds we've heard here this morning.

It might be a long day.

So Rare

I'm sitting in my living room. The only sound I can hear is the hum of my computer and my fingers on the keys.

My husband is working 2nd shift, and my kids have gone next door to pester the living daylights out of visit my in-laws. Although, Granddad did ask if Little Boy could stay until 9 pm to watch Mike Holmes with him. That was sweet.

I fell off the second to bottom step this morning in our basement. There is a fluffy, bathroom rug down there, and it must have helped some. But my ankles and the tops of my feet hurt where they hit the edge of the bottom step, and my knee aches a little where I landed on it. It was completely my fault - completely a boneheaded thing to do. I had full hands and decided to not turn on the light. And so it goes.

Little Boy's sugar was low this evening. It took me awhile to get it back up, and then we were too late to go to church. I called the head deacon's wife. I wanted her to tell her husband we wouldn't be there, but that it had nothing to do with him being a Raven's fan. ha.

Last night was a great night in our house. Pittsburgh Steelers WON. Green Bay Packers WON. And now we have a week of rest before next week's games.

Next week, though, I think we'll be preoccupied. We have a pastoral candidate coming in for a long weekend. I put together a tentative itinerary for my husband to use to plan things with the men from church. They were a bit surprised or perplexed, I don't know. They are not organized at all, and I don't think they had any idea how to even go about setting up a schedule of any kind.

When we finally get a pastor, and the church construction is done in the church basement, it will be a good thing for our church. I'll tell ya.

There are still some logistics that need to be figured out. One big one being who will get stuck in the nursery and what to do about children's church. I would really like to hear him preach. I don't think I'd be able to concentrate very well if the kids stayed in the service. I'm trying to figure something out. We'll see.

Meanwhile, I will sit here next to my Christmas tree that is still up, enjoying the quiet.

Ahhhh.

How Did I Kill the Tree?

Baby asked me this evening how I killed our Christmas tree.

Huh?

How did you kill the lights on our tree? (A small section has gone "out", and DH will find the culprit bulb when we take down the tree.)

I told her I didn't "kill" the lights, and that I didn't "kill" our tree. It's artificial. Of course she asked what that meant. I told her it's fake; it's plastic. She didn't believe me.

Poor kid. She's never seen a real one inside, so she wouldn't know the difference.

Hopefully soon we'll get ours taken down. I'm ready to rearrange the furniture and get back to "normal".

Whatever that is.

My Week

I survived the Home School Review on Monday. I barely survived getting the cookbook in the mail Wednesday. And the rest of the week seems to have just gone down the drain. My kids did very little school, and I don't really know what I did. I feel like today I have accomplished more than I had in the last couple days. All of this inspite of terrible back pain. I don't think I've done anything terrible to my back. I think it's just stress and sleeping incorrectly. I sleep on my side, and sometime in the night I end up on my back. DH wakes me and tells me to turn when he's up to check Little Boy's sugar at 2 am. But by the time I wake up, I'm on my back. And I get out of bed painfully and walk around like a cripple for an hour or so.

Today I finished, copied and folded the church bulletin, finished copied and distributed tomorrow's Order of Service page, finished the church prayer list. Wrote up the minutes from the Ladies' Fellowship Meeting a couple weeks ago, and started the agenda for the February meeting. Yay. I feel like I've earned a little TV time. :0)

Procrastination

I know I have a tendency to procrastinate. But the church cookbook took on a life all its own. I have been working on it for almost a year. Last week at our meeting, I mentioned that there were a few categories that were "light", and asked for some recipes. We were short of the 150 recipe mark. Saturday a lady emailed me some recipes. Sunday a lady handed me a nice little stack. Monday? On Monday a member handed me a PILE.

But after that meeting, and before anyone even gave me any more recipes I discovered a huge "OOPS". Remember way back when my DH did updates on my computer, and I thought the whole file was wiped out? Thankfully he was able to restore the file! But not all the original recipes were restored. In fact, a very large number of recipes were missing. I had printed the first batch I entered, and when I was proofing, I caught this problem. The worst part? All the missing recipes were from one lady. She would have been upset, I'm sure.

So between the "found" recipes, and the ones I was given, I had quite a few more than 150 recipes. But not nearly 200 recipes. So I either had to cut some or add quite a few. I added them. I used the old church cookbooks and included recipes from a couple of the older ladies who had not submitted any, and from one lady who had passed away this past year. Her husband and daughter have started coming back, and I thought they would appreciate it. And I had a cookbook a former member (who may also be returning) had given me, saying, "You can use any recipe out of here you need. I've tried many and I've never found one that wasn't great." At the time I was a bit exasperated, but last night as I finished entering recipes, I was grateful.

So when I finished about 3:30 am, it was partially procrastination, but just a lot of meeting a deadline with new materials. And when I mailed it at 11:3o this morning I was tired and a bit slap-happy.

I was on the phone with DH, and told him I was really too tired to fix lunch. I asked if McD's was ok. He said it was ok. When I asked what he wanted, he said he wanted something good. So you want "home" food? And I started to chuckle. You want me to ask for something with a whole piece of meat? I was holding in laughter. He got a chicken sandwich last week that had the smallest piece of meat on it... I could feel that crazy laughter-that-quickly-turns-into-tears coming on. So when I went through the drive-through, I was feeling "punchy". It didn't bother me that they had to bring the order out. Or that they had forgotten the Mac Wrap. And the cheeseburger. But by the time I got home, the punchiness had worn off, and I was feeling super tired. I did get to take a nap this afternoon, and the kids played quietly in the living room where I was half awake. I'm still feeling tired, but I'm pretty certain I'll be able to sleep tonight.

On to the next project: mailing out (ahem) Christmas cards. Yikes.

Church Cookbook

Is done.

It's only 3:30 am.

Have to get it in the mail today.

Off to bed!

Kids in Snow 2011

They are so much more beautiful when they've been outside playing long enough to give Mommy a break! LOL

Sharing Sorrows

My friends Craig and Stephany miscarried a baby some time ago. Today was her due date. I know they are grieving.

I know because I've grieved on my due date.

I was 7 weeks pregnant when I miscarried. I was elated, flying high one minute, and completely devastated the next. It didn't make sense. When the ER doc told me that my OB/GYN was willing to come in to do a D&C, I declined. I needed time to process what he was saying.

I don't remember if it was the next day, or two days later that I went in. I kept hoping someone would tell me there had been a mistake; that everything was fine.

I remember the stupid things people said to me. People close; people who should have known better. I remember the ridiculous things sending people into tailspins of depression. I wanted to scream at them all. I had a baby, and now that baby was gone. And their petty problems didn't compare. And the attention they were getting just laid stones of hurt at the bottom of my broken heart.

I know that months later, when people had completely forgotten that pain was still there. I'd cry at the drop of a hat.

When I did get pregnant again, that excitement I'd felt the first time was replaced with caution and fear. Then a friend of mine lost her baby the night before he was to be delivered. And the fear grew. It didn't go away until the doctor told us we had a son.

I found a box in our den this past fall. It was a smallish box, and I thought it was full of rose petals. But when I opened it, it was full of baby things from our first baby. A pregnancy journal I had started. A stuffed animal. Baby booties. And sympathy cards. And I sat down and cried.

I don't know who that little baby would have been. I don't know if they would have been a boy or girl. I know they are in Heaven with my Heavenly Father, and with my earthly father. And even though it's been more than 8 years, I still grieve. And cry. And my heart goes out to my friends because I know what they are feeling.

Sharing sorrow doesn't make it any easier.

TO DO LIST:

1. Finish proofing Church Cookbook. Need to get it in the mail Monday.
2. Put together records and sample work for kids for homeschool review Monday.
3. Clean church Saturday.
4. Finish Sunday School lesson.
5. Finish bulletin, copy and fold it.

ANYTHING ELSE?!!!

I'm a bit overwhelmed right now. So I HAVE to get off here and get SOMETHING done.

A Day

It's been a day. We got up, fixed breakfast, got things ready to go. I asked my son to get his "big kit". This is the kit we carry when we need to take along insulin. I walked past our cabinet where we keep all the "D" stuff, and I didn't see the vial. It must be in the kit. We got to Little Boy's therapy appointment on time. We talked a bit before going upstairs, and I asked him to check his blood sugar. He said it was 447, but I thought he was having trouble reading the number as he sometimes does. But when I looked at it, he was right. I asked him to check again. (I hate to do that to him.) 445. I told him I'd have to give him a shot.

But we don't have any insulin!

I asked why it wasn't in the big kit?

We went home. Therapy session will have to be rescheduled.

I gave him a shot. A couple hours later when it was time for lunch, his number was still high. I gave him more insulin. He woke up from his nap low. Treated the low. His sugar is fine for the moment. Now to figure out a treatment for obnoxiousness.

Credit

One of the areas I need to work on is not needing to get recognition or credit for things I do.

Being an adult stinks sometimes. I'd just like a smiley face at the top of my paper every once in awhile.

Up Early

It's early for me to be up. But I asked DH to wake me up when he left for work. It's actually kind of nice to be up while the kids are still asleep.

I slept on the couch last night. And then when DH got up, I crawled into bed. I am feeling much better for the moment. I am hoping that I continue to feel this good. I really don't want to go to the doctor.

I need to gather stuff to get ready for this morning. And I think I may need an allergy pill; it feels like I'm getting hives already today. It's a nearly daily thing, and if I deal with it quickly it's not too bad.

Mystery

I've been having pain. I called a nurse hotline tonight, and I may go in to the ER tomorrow if I'm still feeling badly.

My best guess? Intestinal, bladder or uterus. Or maybe it will just be a gas pocket. But in any case, I'm ok when I sit, and it's not too bad when I am standing. But when I've been sitting for awhile and then stand up... It's pretty painful. And my lower abdomen is quite painful when pushed on. I've been avoiding my children since they tend to think they play defence and I'm the target. ha.

I'm hoping to hold out until Monday. But I'm not making any promises.

And whatever it is, it better not interfere with the endo appointment Little Boy has in Morgantown that we made 10 months ago.

Seriously.

Son singing

He likes to make up songs. Right now he's in the living room singing a rock ballad type song -

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I am a disco dancer."

Let's hope not.

2011

So far, so good.

Last Day

It's the last day of the year. I don't have anything profound to share. Maybe that has something to do with the misery I've been in the last couple days. I was afraid I was going to have to go to the doctor or hospital. But it's ok. Nothing to worry about.

Nothing a little cherry flavored Phillips Milk of Magnesia couldn't solve. Let me just tell you - that slight hint of cherry and NO hint of milk was the most disgusting thing I've ever voluntarily drunk. The label says it works in 1/2 hour to 6 hours. Hmmm. Try 10 hours. And they should just call it Draino.

I still am in pain, but not like I was.

DH - let me just say how much I love that man. He is so selfless. He worked Wednesday night at the mill, at the Union Hall Thursday, and last night when he should have been zonked out in bed, he ran to the store to buy the afore mentioned relief in a bottle. He also did some grocery shopping. I just hope I feel more like eating later b/c he bought a couple bags of frozen shrimp.

We have a candidate coming to church in a couple weeks. I have much more peace about this guy than the last yahoo.

I have a list of things in my head that I want to accomplish, but I haven't written them down yet. Maybe I'll find some time today, and I'll post them tomorrow.

I always feel like I've made it; I've survived when I get to this day of the year.

Surviving is good. And the possibility of something better next year is encouraging.

Hypochondriac

Today I go in for a mammogram. I've never had one before, and I'm a bit anxious. It's not just the actual lung squishing; going to a new place freaks me out. New procedures freak me out. And this procedure that requires some nudity is making me anxious. In fact, I took my anxiety meds last night, and I'm still feeling anxious. And sick. I took laundry downstairs and put in a load. When I came up, I felt like I was going to pass out or barf. I had to sit down and put my head down. I could feel the cold sweat breaking out and that weird feeling I get before I get sick.

So do I have a bug, or is my body trying to get out of my appointment? I guess there is another possibility: maybe laundry makes me sick! Yeah!

All I know is that I have to get one, and I might as well get it done today.

Now that I've got myself all worked up.

It would be a shame to waste an anxiety attack.

Christmas

I know it's a "magical" day for kids, and it should be thoroughly enjoyed. But I get in such a funk it's good if I can just survive.

We had a good Christmas. My husband bought me a beautiful Christmas floral arrangement that I have on our dining room table. I love to look at it. I asked for a new Bible; I even picked out the engraving on it. So I knew I was getting that. It's a pretty Bible - my first NKJV. And he wrote a sweet note inside. And then I opened another gift. It was a video of my favorite Christian comedian - Brad Stine. It made me laugh to see what it was. I also got some bags of goodies. And DH bought a video series for the family - The American Heritage set by Wallbuilders.

The kids liked what they got, but they were anxious to go next door and rip into the piles of presents they knew would be there. Little Boy got a Leapfrog Tag reading system; Baby is mesmerized with it. I might have to get one for her. @@

DH and I were up late last night, too. He found out Friday night that he was going to have to preach this morning. Nothing like short notice. Too bad I'll be teaching children's church and won't get to hear him. I know he'll do a good job, though.

I'm glad it's over. I'm glad I survived.

Christmas Eve Day

My house is about as clean as it's going to get. I might tackle some more laundry, but I think that's about it.

I have some more gifts to wrap, but I think that will be something to do after the kids are in bed.

I made some Spritz cookies today, but I might make another batch this afternoon.

We removed the last stickers on our advent calendars. We missed a few days here and there, but it was a great idea that I want to do again next year.

Tonight is the church's Christmas Eve candlelight service. Mike is "in charge" of it, and is working hard to make it nice. He and I are both singing tonight.

I think the kids are going to burst wide open from anticipation. Baby in particular. She walks around begging to open a gift. She says she just canNOT waaaaaiiiiiitttt.

I know she's excited, but I hope she's not depressed when it's all done.

I love that Christmas is on Saturday this year. It gives us a whole day to enjoy the holiday before heading back to church.

I am feeling better about the holiday, but not feeling that great physically. Blech. Sinuses, arthritis and PMS attacking all at once.

I have a list of things I didn't get done - like Christmas cards - but I am not going to beat myself up. I'll get to them next week.

Toothpicks

Last night, after the kids were in bed, and after DH and I got to spend some time talking. I made a list. And I left for Walmart close to 1 am. So when I got home at 3:30 I was kinda wide awake. I put away groceries and hid the little stocking stuffers I had bought. I wrapped a few presents, and climbed into bed at 5 am. UGH

So when my kids got up at 7:45, and I needed to pee (sorry), and my husband was still asleep, I got up with them.

So now I need some toothpicks. And something to calm my nerves. And some duct tape for two little noisy people. Maybe I need some coffee.

Now you KNOW I'm tired! ha

Blown Cover

We've always taught our kids that "Santa" is a fun story, but Christmas is really about Jesus' birth. Our 5 year old is a little caught up in the whole Santa thing. And it doesn't help that her grandmother tells her that SHE believes in Santa. It bothers me a little, but my kids also say that each of us parents and her grandparents are all Santa.

Tonight at supper, she informed us that she really knows who Santa is.

The UPS guy.

ROFL.

An Encouraging Word

and no antelope.


http://www.crosswalk.com/news/commentary/11642711/


Just what I needed to read.

Expectations

I set high expectations for myself in certain areas.

Today I didn't meet some of those, and honestly, I'm feeling a little loser-ish.

I am counting the days until December 26th.

$200 Giveaway

Chef Boyardee is giving a $200 gift card away. You can read all about it here.

We were MIA

One of my friends thought something terrible must have happened to someone since she couldn't reach me on the phone for a couple days in a row.

Nothing terrible.

Just ballet!

My beautiful children

Digging out

Last night I cleaned a large spot in our den. Then I sorted several large boxes of junk. We moved my sewing table and stuff to the clean spot in the den. The corner is empty - waiting for the arrival of the treadmill. I have to unbury the treadmill. It's covered with junk. Once I get that done, and the treadmill is moved to its new location we can start thinking about putting up the tree.

I found some important papers while I was sorting, so I'm happy about that. But I'm always left with a box or so of stuff I don't know what to do with. That is frustrating to me. But for now, I've slid the box under the sewing table. I can deal with that later.

DH worked on getting some stuff cleaned out of the garage. Hopefully we can get both vehicles back into the garage soon. And he was helping me last night, too. He found all the Wii games and put them in the correct cases, and he cleaned out the stuff under the couch and chair.

Hopefully we can dig out from under the piles of junk and get ready for Christmas.

Cripple

The last week has been busy. Appointments and 2 ballet performances. And now I'm walking a little hunched over. My hips and lower back are not good. I try to not sleep in one position all night, but I have been waking up on my back - not good.

My sneezing, coughing ballerina is asking for rice for breakfast. She's a nut.

Stubborn Bird

Last night we ate turkey. But the dumb thing was so stubborn! I put it into the oven around 5 pm. I was expecting it to be done by 7:30. That was still later than we usually eat, but I didn't want to leave it in the fridge much longer. The meat thermometer finally beeped. The bird was done about 8:45. Good grief. We ate the rest of our meal and sat around the table for about a half an hour while we waited on it.

Everyone thought it was worth it, though. I quartered a Granny Smith apple and put it in the turkey. It made the whole turkey so juicy! The kids gushed to the point of obnoxiousness; but it really was very yummy!

So. Last night Little Boy went very low. We treated it until his sugar was "normal." But last night he went high. And this morning he was over 300.

The moral of the story? Cook the turkey first thing in the morning.

That stupid little red button never did pop up.

Christmas song quiz

Last night the ladies at church met for our annual Christmas party. I printed this quiz and had people work in groups of 3. One group got 24 answers correct. How many can you figure out? They are not all carols; some are "secular" Christmas songs. There was a LOT of laughing and groaning when I read the answers. We had a good time.

Just a couple thoughts

Last night DH and I were sitting in the den at the computer - talking. Baby was coming from her room. I'm not sure where Little Boy was. She called, "Daddy? Brother? Anybody?" LOL

This morning I was talking to her about eating her breakfast. I told her I was not going to fuss at her, but if she didn't eat what was on her plate, she could not have any food until lunch. She wasn't very happy. I think she thought she could try to make me laugh and I might change my mind. She put her fingers at the corners of my mouth and pushed up. "Smile. Think happy thoughts." I told her I AM thinking happy thoughts - like one where my little girl cheerfully goes back to the table to finish her breakfast.

FROWN.

Tonight is our Ladies' Fellowship Christmas party. It isn't here. That's the best part. LOL I do have a couple things I want to get done, but I'm just not going to stress about it.

Last night we had to buy a bottle of test strips at the pharmacy. Little Boy opened the last package and we didn't know it. We've ordered more through our mail order place, but they may not get here until the end of the week. A bottle of 50 strips cost $60. Sigh. Oh well. We have to do what we have to do.

Our dinner last night wasn't so bad. We ended up sitting across from the couple we had hoped to avoid. They are from our old church. She can be very moody, and he likes the sound of his own voice. And he thinks he's witty. But I asked a couple questions, and he talked for quite a while. He filled the quiet. And my chicken marsala, wild rice, cooked carrots and French silk pie was very yummy. And we were child-free for the first time in months, I think.

I bought a couple of sticker Advent calendars through CBD. The kids alternate which calendar they remove the stickers. It's working very well. They are getting excited. I'm sure they'll be much more excited if/when I get things cleaned up and we can put up the tree and decorate.

Sigh. I'm really struggling to get in the mood and am just depressed in general. I really think much of it goes to not seeing MY family at the holidays.

Oh well.

Tired

I'm kind of dragging today. Thankfully that didn't keep us from making forward progress in school today.

Last night the kids went to G&Gs house, and DH and I went to church. Funny thing - no one asked where they were. Hmm. But we had a nice time by ourselves. When we got home, I grabbed a soda. It wasn't decaf. So about 2:30 am, I was wide awake. And I stayed awake until about 4:30 am. I don't do well w/o my rest.

Tonight we're supposed to go to a dinner at a fancy restaurant w/ the other couples on the board at the union. Not looking forward to it, really. And DH REALLY isn't. Oh well.

I think I'll take a nap this afternoon. I wouldn't want to get cranky tonight. @@

Christmas is

frustrating.

I don't know what to buy for my kids. And they're fairly easy to buy for. But we are cutting back on our spending once again, and I want to spend wisely.

I know I'm putting this stress on myself. And it's not that necessary.

Bah.

Drama

I'm hiding from drama right now. I deactivated again. My younger sister and youngest brother are the center of December drama-fest 2010. And my niece has jumped into the ring.

I'm so glad I scheduled my next therapy session for 2 weeks from today. I went back to therapy for the first time since July. A lot has happened, but mostly I wanted to talk about how down I've been. I've started back on Wellbutrin. I would love to crawl into bed and stay there until Dec. 26th. But I have two small birds who are rightfully excited about the big day. So for now I'm faking it. I don't really want them to know that I'd be fine skipping Christmas. There really isn't a specific reason why I feel this way. But there are many reasons I feel this way, I guess.

Looking forward to the new season of White Collar in January. I guess it's something.

Crazy Dreams

I woke up angry, again. Another crazy dream. But I know where this one came from. My kids frequently pretend they are getting married or that they are married. (They're 5 and 7.) I told them yesterday that it would be like Daddy and their Aunt C. getting married; that it would be gross. And a couple weeks ago, I watched that sick show "Sister Wives". So last night I dreamed that my husband was also marrying his sister. I tried to act like it didn't bother me. I think I was trying to use reverse psychology. But when they were getting into DH's vehicle, I ran outside and went nuts on them both. My MIL was following me, trying to tell me I was wrong - that everything was going to be ok. I completely lost it, and I woke up angry.

Thankfully for DH, this isn't one where I'm mad at him all day. Just a little nauseated. blech.