Where ya been?

My 2 readers might be asking that question. LOL

My husband was on vacation last week. We spent the week working at the church, trying to get things cleaned up and in order for the new pastor (who we still love, btw). DH and another man, along with the pastor, put in the new flooring in the offices. And then DH went back and did the thresholds and trimwork. And he went this week and helped the electrician run phone lines and electric to the office.

I am excited, impatient and exhausted when it comes to church. We have more kids coming on Sunday nights, and I want to go to church then, too. But while we have more kids coming, we have fewer people willing to help out with the nursery and with teaching kids' classes. So, I'm trying to be patient and hang in there a little longer. Last Sunday Pastor handed out surveys, hoping to find out what people would like to get involved in. I'm hoping there will be some pew-warmers who get off their... pew.

Baby had a birthday. She's 6 now. Wow. I tell her all the time that she needs to shrink. We had a party at the lake last week while Daddy could be there. I think she had a great time; she wanted a horse party. And she wanted a horse-head cake. She told me this like 2 days beforehand. I didn't have time to find a pan, and I wasn't up to freehanding it. I told her we'd do cupcakes for her lake party, and I'd make the other one for her actual day. Thankfully she was pacified.

Monday was her birthday. And I forgot that the preceding week when I made plans and commitments for this week. Oops. Monday morning, my friend Julie came over to help me clean. My house has gotten out of control. We cleaned Baby's room so she'd have a place to put her new presents. Love it.

After Julie left, I ran 40 minutes+ to get the kids signed up for homeschool for this year, and came home to decorate the cake I finished baking at 2:30 Monday morning. I got it done just as Daddy had to leave for work. And then I crashed. Until I woke up with horrible abdominal cramping. I ran to the bathroom, and while I was "going", I thought I was going to pass out or vomit. It was terrible. Between episodes I was lying on the bathroom floor.

Little Boy ran in the front door and hollered that Baby was going up the hill 3 houses to talk to the lady who lives there. He was all freaked out; I was so sick, and so mad. She knows better. The kids put on a little parade for the neighbor lady while I stood on the porch with my head on the railing. It was bad. I don't know if it was just stress? Bleh.

Today Julie came, and we cleaned our living room. I still have a couple of piles to deal with, but it looks really good. DH pitched in and helped, and the kids were in and out. Tomorrow we'll tackle the dining room. She's between jobs right now, so I am giving her money to help us. We'll do the kitchen next. That might take us into next week. And if she's still up for it, we can tackle the den, the basement, the garage, or my room? We'll see. We might go broke. LOL But I feel some of the depression lifting.

So, I hope to be back more often. Progress, just a little at a time.

Relief!

Our new pastor and his wife were at church yesterday. I've been teary for a couple days. It feels like I've been single-handedly keeping people on track. That is probably not the truth, but I know that few people even think ahead past Sunday dinner. But our pastor seems to really be "with it". Maybe I can relax my grip on the dashboard a bit.

Counting the Days

So it's been 10 months since our pastor resigned. I'm looking forward to August 7th like you wouldn't believe. But between now and then...

Tomorrow DH and I need to get the carpet fixed in my classroom before VBS starts on Wednesday. I need to get the rest of the flyers ready to go. I have CAUTION tape that I'm stapling to each one as a loop to hang from doors. Tuesday, the mission group is coming in. We have a meeting at 4, and then Wednesday VBS starts. From there, the week will fly. Next Sunday, the group that's coming is going to "run" the service. And the following Sunday our new pastor starts.

And then HE can stress about the logistics. Or whatever.

Tweet

"Churches rise no higher than the spiritual maturity of its men."

This is from our new pastor's twitter page.

I wonder if he's ready to teach kindergarten.

Permission?

If you've ever watched Dr. Phil for any length of time, he says all the time that we teach people how to treat us. So I'm wondering, if people act like idiots all the time, does that mean I can treat them like they're idiots?

Probably not, but in my smart aleck mind it kinda sounds right.

Our new pastor cannot come soon enough. DH has been struggling with his feelings about our church. He is tired of the morons - 3 of them in particular who call themselves "the leadership". "The leadership has decided...." I think they are going to have a little wake-up call when the pastor comes. He has shared with Mike that he feels like committee recommendations and congregation input are vital, especially at the beginning of his ministry here.

The next 3 weeks are too busy.

Anticipation

Or irritation.

The SS meeting tonight was ... interesting. The man leading the meeting spoke to us for about 15 minutes about teachers needing to be at church at least 5 minutes early. But then he danced all around the issue that one teacher who teaches in the church sanctuary needs to be sure to end on time. aaaaaaaargh

I told him after the meeting I wished he had just said what he didn't say but clearly wanted to say. He pretty much knew what I was talking about.

I also was ticked at some of the rude things that teacher said. Whenever he feels like someone is saying something negative about him, he lashes out with rude comments. (That's real mature.)

I was talking to the head deacon after the meeting about the VBS stuff I was sent. I wanted to make sure there weren't any issues beforehand so that things could be changed now if needed. This rude guy walks up and says, "Maybe you could make copies of these to give to the "leadership"." I wanted to say that as far as VBS goes, I AM the leadership, you big JERK. But I didn't. I said I could make copies of the daily schedule, but that it wasn't necessary to hand out copies of the the lesson synopses that they sent. He didn't say anything. I picked up the papers and put them in my purse. It's not that I feel good being snotty, but I've just had it.

I emailed the incoming pastor today. I recommended the CPA our last church used when I was the church treasurer. I copied the email to our current treasurer b/c I don't want anyone getting upset. But it's almost to the point of doing what I need to do and not worrying about who gets upset about what. I mentioned in my email that I've done accounting/payroll stuff in the past for a couple places I worked. I know there are people who do not know half of my job history who are going to just scoff. I half feel like I need to hand out my resume in order to get any kind of respect.

DH was mentioning that he feels like he doesn't get respect with his family or at church. That makes me pretty sad; he's got more insight and integrity in his little finger than some of them have had their whole lives. I just hope the pastor reads people for who they are. Poor guy.

Sunburn

I've been sitting at Little Boy's baseball camp. I've used sunscreen on my neck and arms, but forgot my face. I use foundation that has a small amount of sunscreen, but the sun has been really hot.

VBS is coming up. I got the signs today. They look good. I haven't heard back from the place at the main intersection down the street yet. I called and asked if we can hang a VBS sign on the fence. The business is actually closed, and the management company hasn't responded. It would be a great place to hang our sign.

There is so much to do and I'm not even in charge!

Our pastor's first Sunday is August 7th. I'm looking forward to it so much. Especially since I've about had it with people who can't figure out anything unless their hand is being held.

Tonight is the quarterly SS teachers' meeting. I really want to ask why we all have to end our class at 25 min before the hour, but the adult SS teacher doesn't quit until 20 or 15 min 'til.

My son has been a complete brat lately, and then Baby responds the same way. I seriously don't know what their problem is.

Sick and Tired and Depressed

So I started out depressed, and then started feeling sick, and now I'm tired, too. I stayed home from church this morning; it's the most peaceful nap I've had in a long time.

I guess sitting with your head in the toilet takes your mind off depressing things for at least a little while, huh?

3 am

It's 3 am and I should have been in bed hours ago. I did get a 2 hour nap - yesterday, now - but this late night is cancelling it out.

I have been dealing with a lot of spiritual things for some time. I realize that denominations serve a purpose. And I think it's easier to fellowship when you have like beliefs. But the reasons for separating completely from a group of believers are getting fewer. I don't think I'll ever be best friends with someone who is far from my doctrinal stand. But there are people in my denomination that are wicked. They are mean-spirited, and I think I Cor. 3 calls them carnal for glorying in their divisions.

I just needed to get that down on paper; maybe I can sleep now.

Here

That's about how I feel right now. "Here." I remember answering that when class role was called in college. I'm tired. Too many nights staying up too late. Something going on every day. And those are the easy days. Lately, it seems we've had multiple things going on each day.

I know our schedule is light compared to many people's schedule. But we really prefer to not run too much.

I haven't posted in some time. I got distracted during Diabetes Blog week, and never finished. Update on Little Boy's #s. Last night I had a ladies' meeting at Denny's. Little Boy and I talked about what he'd like to eat, I figured it up from the nutrition chart I downloaded. I gave him his shot to cover dinner, and last night before bed he checked. Over 300. bleh I had to give him a shot to correct, and at his 2 am check he was 130. DH told me and I vaguely remember holding up a thumb in my delirium.

I've been learning and thinking and questioning a lot lately. My new network of survivor friends on SFL have opened my eyes to many things I've questioned for years.

Baby had her ballet recital recently. She was adorable. And even though I stressed myself out both nights and had to run home - first night she left her shoes at home, and second night I left the big flash at home - she did a great job.

Admiring Our Differences

I think what I've learned and appreciate about reading the blogs of other T1 Moms is that my son's sugar is much more regulated than I thought. I read of kids dropping drastically without warning. My son's numbers are not always in the acceptable range, but rarely does his number surprise me. If it's low, it's when he hasn't eaten recently. If it's high, it's because he just came home from his grandparents' house. (Don't get me started.)
When I read the blogs of T2's I realize that they face the same problems and health issues as T1's, even though their "treatment" is easier/less painful. But I wonder if their control is less effective?

2nd Annual Diabetes Blog Week

My blog isn't specifically about my Type 1 Diabetic son. I was writing my blog before he was diagnosed. But occasionally our battle against this disease makes into my writing. I think most days I feel like I'm treading water or just going through the motions to keep us all afloat. There are days I can't think about it too much, because it just kills me.

Beginning tomorrow, for a week, my posts will be about Diabetes and our daily journey, specifically my son's trials.

Rollercoaster Ride

It's been awhile since I was on a real rollercoaster. I pushed myself to enjoy the ride above the fear in the pit of my stomach. This past weekend I had to do that same thing getting onto 4 different planes. All four planes "experienced turbulence." We had one landing that made me very nervous. I was very glad to see my friend Gina, and it was good to see her family. We ate and shopped, shopped and ate. And then ate some more. It was so nice to sit and talk to someone who knows me - knows what I've gone through - knows that once upon a time I wasn't this fat. Someone who shares history with me. And I think we didn't have enough time to get on each other's nerves. That makes the visit a success.

And now I'm home. And my kids didn't magically become angels, and the housework still exists. And our schedule didn't change. So it's like coming off the rollercoaster back into the daily grind. Which isn't a bad thing. It makes the rollercoaster ride a fond memory, and I get to spend time with my 3 favorite people in all the world. But it sure is nice that it's already bedtime for babies, as we say in our home. :)

Blocking

Well, I did it. I blocked someone on Facebook. It wasn't the first time, and I am sure it won't be the last time. But it was the first time I've blocked a sibling. I had to do it. I was feeling stressed anytime I saw her post anything. I don't want to offend her, but I can't worry about that. The anxiety she was causing made it necessary.

It's almost like she was following me around on FB friending anyone I had friended that she knew, too. So. Now I don't have to worry about it b/c I won't know.

And I'm dealing with enough anxiety right now. I leave Friday morning; I'll drive myself to Pittsburgh and park in extended parking for $8/day. That's definitely cheaper than DH driving me there and then picking me up next Tuesday. The thought of flying to the other end of the country by myself is starting to bother me. Baby is not doing well with the idea, either. She cries when I mention it. I don't talk to her about it to make her upset, but b/c she needs to know that I'm leaving (and coming back). She and Little Boy will do fine with Daddy.

I need to get to bed. I've been fighting a headache all day. It's weather, pollen or stress. Or all three combined.

Coloring Eggs

The kids are coloring eggs. I know it's fun. I loved coloring eggs when I was a kid. In fact, after they are done and in bed, I have a couple to color myself. But like all messy "crafts", I get freaked out about the possibility for an HUGE mess. I make the kids take off their clothes (except undies of course) and sit on the kitchen floor with the color cups on a sheet pan on top of newspaper.

Poor kids.

Sigh.

Easter really snuck up on me this year. I tried to get into it. I bought stuff for their baskets yesterday. And I got the last minute clothing necessities - little white cardigan and tights for Baby, new dress shirt for Little Boy... I am looking forward to being done with tomorrow. But I'm getting nervous for the end of the week when I go to WA.

I need to find the disc for my song for tomorrow. I'm going to run through it and see if I have enough voice to power through it. I've been taking Benadryl to dry up the drainage, and I may have saved my voice. We'll see.

Happy, Blessed Easter everyone!

PS - So the dye cups are still on the floor on trays. I need to move them so that I can dye my eggs. But Baby was trying to get into the kitchen. I asked her to not come into the kitchen. Twice. And then when she pushed past me, I raised my voice. She ran into the living room crying. "You just hurt my last feeling." I told her, "You've been on my last nerve, so now we're even!"

My husband was standing in the kitchen laughing.

We are so looking forward to her being a teenager.

NOT.

Baseball!

Reece's Rainbow

I found out about this organization that facilitates international adoptions of Down's Syndrome babies and babies with HIV. http://reecesrainbow.org/ I am drawn to it because of the desperation of each child's situation.

One family trying to adopt a little boy has been turned down by a R*ss*an judge. Not because there was anything wrong with the family. The judge has decided that they should adopt a child that is healthy. This child isn't worth it. My heart breaks. The family is appealing, but they are heartbroken. They had to leave their son and come back to the States.

Pray with me that God will intervene. That the judge will change her mind, or that God will replace the judge.

God knows, the family knows, I know, and you know that child is worth it. He is so worth it.

Things I would miss

if I was not homeschooling...

Baby standing on the couch, flapping her arms like a chicken dancing and singing along with the Bubble Guppies.

LOL

Peculiar?

Good news!

God does NOT want you to be a freak show!

Since I can remember, I've heard that we as Christians are to be a peculiar people. 10 times out of 10 it's been used in the context that God wants us to be different. In some cases it's been used to justify forcing standards on us that cause us to look weird in the world's eyes.

Ahem. Just last night in our Bible study, Pastor Dave talked about this. I didn't have the heart (or the nerve?) to correct him.

A couple weeks ago, I looked the word "peculiar" up in my big KJV. And then I looked at a couple different versions. And then I looked it up in the Strong's concordance. The meaning of the word peculiar in 1611 is not the same meaning as it carries now. When we think of something being peculiar, we think at best it's unique, and at worst we think it's freaky. But the word peculiar used to mean an object that should be treasured. God looks at us as a treasured possession!

Isn't that a relief! Doesn't that make more sense? He told us that people will know we're Christians by our ugly culottes super-short hair skirts that go to the ankle love for one another.

Pretty cool, I think.

Lemmings

This should probably be on my other blog, but I'm just going to vent here a little.

I get so tired of people who do not bother to think for themselves. I work very hard to not take what people say as gospel. That might sound cynical, but people don't always get things right. So I listen. And I research. And I ask questions from people I trust. And I research some more. And I make a decision based on those things. Like I said. I do not blindly believe what people say about issues or events. There is a very short list of people I'd consult.

Recently I found a blog that deals with many issues that I grew up with. And much of it I can relate to. But there is an air of bitterness there. People who were not allowed to think for themselves now follow the loudest bitter voice. I have plenty to question. I have plenty to re-examine. But I am a bit irritated at the moment.

I've come to the conclusion that lemmings are lemmings.

Lemmings don't care what cliff they're jumping off. They're happy to follow right over the edge.