I become my mother. I get so frustrated with my kids. I start yelling. Screaming. Threatening. I'm just not nice at all. And then I can't look at myself in the mirror. I sat in the kitchen today, sobbing. I ended up back in bed, where Little Boy followed me. We laid there in bed, and I told him how much I hate yelling, and why - because that's how my mom was with me. And I told him that I don't want to be like her. He wiped my tears, and snuggled. He kept telling me to not cry. And he told me he was going to obey the first time without fussing. I told him if he could make it through the day, I'd have something special for him. If he can make it a week (lol) we'd go bowling.
He hasn't fussed yet, but we definitely need to work on the quick response.
I just don't know how parents get their kids to obey without it being WWIII, without threatening to beat them or actually beating them. My kids are both very willful, and I know it only gets "worse". I'm so thankful for naptime. I think I'll take a quick one.
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2 comments:
I hope you get a nap. Are Mondays worse at your house? Sundays and the running seem to be hard on our kids. One thing I've read recently that I'm trying to keep in mind is that every time there is an "issue", it's an opportunity to teach and train and point them toward Godly behavior. It's definitely a struggle to keep that perspective sometimes, but when I can, it helps with *my* attitude.
I didn't find the words until years later, but what my kids responded to was setting the requirements and defining expectations. Keeping to a schedule was something my aunt taught me. Her husband worked for the state Fish and Game Commission and kept odd hours. Maintaining a schedule for her daughters' meal and bedtime (even if it meant missing Daddy) helped with requirements and expectations. For mine, we tried the weely list of expectations (which includes some chores but also has items for attitude) and stars for accomplishment. As much as you love them, never forget that it is a parent/child relationship until they are out of college. "Because I said so and I'm the boss" is a valid answer. They'll hear it in the real working world!!
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