Last Day

It's the last day of the year. I don't have anything profound to share. Maybe that has something to do with the misery I've been in the last couple days. I was afraid I was going to have to go to the doctor or hospital. But it's ok. Nothing to worry about.

Nothing a little cherry flavored Phillips Milk of Magnesia couldn't solve. Let me just tell you - that slight hint of cherry and NO hint of milk was the most disgusting thing I've ever voluntarily drunk. The label says it works in 1/2 hour to 6 hours. Hmmm. Try 10 hours. And they should just call it Draino.

I still am in pain, but not like I was.

DH - let me just say how much I love that man. He is so selfless. He worked Wednesday night at the mill, at the Union Hall Thursday, and last night when he should have been zonked out in bed, he ran to the store to buy the afore mentioned relief in a bottle. He also did some grocery shopping. I just hope I feel more like eating later b/c he bought a couple bags of frozen shrimp.

We have a candidate coming to church in a couple weeks. I have much more peace about this guy than the last yahoo.

I have a list of things in my head that I want to accomplish, but I haven't written them down yet. Maybe I'll find some time today, and I'll post them tomorrow.

I always feel like I've made it; I've survived when I get to this day of the year.

Surviving is good. And the possibility of something better next year is encouraging.

Hypochondriac

Today I go in for a mammogram. I've never had one before, and I'm a bit anxious. It's not just the actual lung squishing; going to a new place freaks me out. New procedures freak me out. And this procedure that requires some nudity is making me anxious. In fact, I took my anxiety meds last night, and I'm still feeling anxious. And sick. I took laundry downstairs and put in a load. When I came up, I felt like I was going to pass out or barf. I had to sit down and put my head down. I could feel the cold sweat breaking out and that weird feeling I get before I get sick.

So do I have a bug, or is my body trying to get out of my appointment? I guess there is another possibility: maybe laundry makes me sick! Yeah!

All I know is that I have to get one, and I might as well get it done today.

Now that I've got myself all worked up.

It would be a shame to waste an anxiety attack.

Christmas

I know it's a "magical" day for kids, and it should be thoroughly enjoyed. But I get in such a funk it's good if I can just survive.

We had a good Christmas. My husband bought me a beautiful Christmas floral arrangement that I have on our dining room table. I love to look at it. I asked for a new Bible; I even picked out the engraving on it. So I knew I was getting that. It's a pretty Bible - my first NKJV. And he wrote a sweet note inside. And then I opened another gift. It was a video of my favorite Christian comedian - Brad Stine. It made me laugh to see what it was. I also got some bags of goodies. And DH bought a video series for the family - The American Heritage set by Wallbuilders.

The kids liked what they got, but they were anxious to go next door and rip into the piles of presents they knew would be there. Little Boy got a Leapfrog Tag reading system; Baby is mesmerized with it. I might have to get one for her. @@

DH and I were up late last night, too. He found out Friday night that he was going to have to preach this morning. Nothing like short notice. Too bad I'll be teaching children's church and won't get to hear him. I know he'll do a good job, though.

I'm glad it's over. I'm glad I survived.

Christmas Eve Day

My house is about as clean as it's going to get. I might tackle some more laundry, but I think that's about it.

I have some more gifts to wrap, but I think that will be something to do after the kids are in bed.

I made some Spritz cookies today, but I might make another batch this afternoon.

We removed the last stickers on our advent calendars. We missed a few days here and there, but it was a great idea that I want to do again next year.

Tonight is the church's Christmas Eve candlelight service. Mike is "in charge" of it, and is working hard to make it nice. He and I are both singing tonight.

I think the kids are going to burst wide open from anticipation. Baby in particular. She walks around begging to open a gift. She says she just canNOT waaaaaiiiiiitttt.

I know she's excited, but I hope she's not depressed when it's all done.

I love that Christmas is on Saturday this year. It gives us a whole day to enjoy the holiday before heading back to church.

I am feeling better about the holiday, but not feeling that great physically. Blech. Sinuses, arthritis and PMS attacking all at once.

I have a list of things I didn't get done - like Christmas cards - but I am not going to beat myself up. I'll get to them next week.

Toothpicks

Last night, after the kids were in bed, and after DH and I got to spend some time talking. I made a list. And I left for Walmart close to 1 am. So when I got home at 3:30 I was kinda wide awake. I put away groceries and hid the little stocking stuffers I had bought. I wrapped a few presents, and climbed into bed at 5 am. UGH

So when my kids got up at 7:45, and I needed to pee (sorry), and my husband was still asleep, I got up with them.

So now I need some toothpicks. And something to calm my nerves. And some duct tape for two little noisy people. Maybe I need some coffee.

Now you KNOW I'm tired! ha

Blown Cover

We've always taught our kids that "Santa" is a fun story, but Christmas is really about Jesus' birth. Our 5 year old is a little caught up in the whole Santa thing. And it doesn't help that her grandmother tells her that SHE believes in Santa. It bothers me a little, but my kids also say that each of us parents and her grandparents are all Santa.

Tonight at supper, she informed us that she really knows who Santa is.

The UPS guy.

ROFL.

An Encouraging Word

and no antelope.


http://www.crosswalk.com/news/commentary/11642711/


Just what I needed to read.

Expectations

I set high expectations for myself in certain areas.

Today I didn't meet some of those, and honestly, I'm feeling a little loser-ish.

I am counting the days until December 26th.

$200 Giveaway

Chef Boyardee is giving a $200 gift card away. You can read all about it here.

We were MIA

One of my friends thought something terrible must have happened to someone since she couldn't reach me on the phone for a couple days in a row.

Nothing terrible.

Just ballet!

My beautiful children

Digging out

Last night I cleaned a large spot in our den. Then I sorted several large boxes of junk. We moved my sewing table and stuff to the clean spot in the den. The corner is empty - waiting for the arrival of the treadmill. I have to unbury the treadmill. It's covered with junk. Once I get that done, and the treadmill is moved to its new location we can start thinking about putting up the tree.

I found some important papers while I was sorting, so I'm happy about that. But I'm always left with a box or so of stuff I don't know what to do with. That is frustrating to me. But for now, I've slid the box under the sewing table. I can deal with that later.

DH worked on getting some stuff cleaned out of the garage. Hopefully we can get both vehicles back into the garage soon. And he was helping me last night, too. He found all the Wii games and put them in the correct cases, and he cleaned out the stuff under the couch and chair.

Hopefully we can dig out from under the piles of junk and get ready for Christmas.

Cripple

The last week has been busy. Appointments and 2 ballet performances. And now I'm walking a little hunched over. My hips and lower back are not good. I try to not sleep in one position all night, but I have been waking up on my back - not good.

My sneezing, coughing ballerina is asking for rice for breakfast. She's a nut.

Stubborn Bird

Last night we ate turkey. But the dumb thing was so stubborn! I put it into the oven around 5 pm. I was expecting it to be done by 7:30. That was still later than we usually eat, but I didn't want to leave it in the fridge much longer. The meat thermometer finally beeped. The bird was done about 8:45. Good grief. We ate the rest of our meal and sat around the table for about a half an hour while we waited on it.

Everyone thought it was worth it, though. I quartered a Granny Smith apple and put it in the turkey. It made the whole turkey so juicy! The kids gushed to the point of obnoxiousness; but it really was very yummy!

So. Last night Little Boy went very low. We treated it until his sugar was "normal." But last night he went high. And this morning he was over 300.

The moral of the story? Cook the turkey first thing in the morning.

That stupid little red button never did pop up.

Christmas song quiz

Last night the ladies at church met for our annual Christmas party. I printed this quiz and had people work in groups of 3. One group got 24 answers correct. How many can you figure out? They are not all carols; some are "secular" Christmas songs. There was a LOT of laughing and groaning when I read the answers. We had a good time.

Just a couple thoughts

Last night DH and I were sitting in the den at the computer - talking. Baby was coming from her room. I'm not sure where Little Boy was. She called, "Daddy? Brother? Anybody?" LOL

This morning I was talking to her about eating her breakfast. I told her I was not going to fuss at her, but if she didn't eat what was on her plate, she could not have any food until lunch. She wasn't very happy. I think she thought she could try to make me laugh and I might change my mind. She put her fingers at the corners of my mouth and pushed up. "Smile. Think happy thoughts." I told her I AM thinking happy thoughts - like one where my little girl cheerfully goes back to the table to finish her breakfast.

FROWN.

Tonight is our Ladies' Fellowship Christmas party. It isn't here. That's the best part. LOL I do have a couple things I want to get done, but I'm just not going to stress about it.

Last night we had to buy a bottle of test strips at the pharmacy. Little Boy opened the last package and we didn't know it. We've ordered more through our mail order place, but they may not get here until the end of the week. A bottle of 50 strips cost $60. Sigh. Oh well. We have to do what we have to do.

Our dinner last night wasn't so bad. We ended up sitting across from the couple we had hoped to avoid. They are from our old church. She can be very moody, and he likes the sound of his own voice. And he thinks he's witty. But I asked a couple questions, and he talked for quite a while. He filled the quiet. And my chicken marsala, wild rice, cooked carrots and French silk pie was very yummy. And we were child-free for the first time in months, I think.

I bought a couple of sticker Advent calendars through CBD. The kids alternate which calendar they remove the stickers. It's working very well. They are getting excited. I'm sure they'll be much more excited if/when I get things cleaned up and we can put up the tree and decorate.

Sigh. I'm really struggling to get in the mood and am just depressed in general. I really think much of it goes to not seeing MY family at the holidays.

Oh well.

Tired

I'm kind of dragging today. Thankfully that didn't keep us from making forward progress in school today.

Last night the kids went to G&Gs house, and DH and I went to church. Funny thing - no one asked where they were. Hmm. But we had a nice time by ourselves. When we got home, I grabbed a soda. It wasn't decaf. So about 2:30 am, I was wide awake. And I stayed awake until about 4:30 am. I don't do well w/o my rest.

Tonight we're supposed to go to a dinner at a fancy restaurant w/ the other couples on the board at the union. Not looking forward to it, really. And DH REALLY isn't. Oh well.

I think I'll take a nap this afternoon. I wouldn't want to get cranky tonight. @@

Christmas is

frustrating.

I don't know what to buy for my kids. And they're fairly easy to buy for. But we are cutting back on our spending once again, and I want to spend wisely.

I know I'm putting this stress on myself. And it's not that necessary.

Bah.

Drama

I'm hiding from drama right now. I deactivated again. My younger sister and youngest brother are the center of December drama-fest 2010. And my niece has jumped into the ring.

I'm so glad I scheduled my next therapy session for 2 weeks from today. I went back to therapy for the first time since July. A lot has happened, but mostly I wanted to talk about how down I've been. I've started back on Wellbutrin. I would love to crawl into bed and stay there until Dec. 26th. But I have two small birds who are rightfully excited about the big day. So for now I'm faking it. I don't really want them to know that I'd be fine skipping Christmas. There really isn't a specific reason why I feel this way. But there are many reasons I feel this way, I guess.

Looking forward to the new season of White Collar in January. I guess it's something.

Crazy Dreams

I woke up angry, again. Another crazy dream. But I know where this one came from. My kids frequently pretend they are getting married or that they are married. (They're 5 and 7.) I told them yesterday that it would be like Daddy and their Aunt C. getting married; that it would be gross. And a couple weeks ago, I watched that sick show "Sister Wives". So last night I dreamed that my husband was also marrying his sister. I tried to act like it didn't bother me. I think I was trying to use reverse psychology. But when they were getting into DH's vehicle, I ran outside and went nuts on them both. My MIL was following me, trying to tell me I was wrong - that everything was going to be ok. I completely lost it, and I woke up angry.

Thankfully for DH, this isn't one where I'm mad at him all day. Just a little nauseated. blech.