So Rare

I'm sitting in my living room. The only sound I can hear is the hum of my computer and my fingers on the keys.

My husband is working 2nd shift, and my kids have gone next door to pester the living daylights out of visit my in-laws. Although, Granddad did ask if Little Boy could stay until 9 pm to watch Mike Holmes with him. That was sweet.

I fell off the second to bottom step this morning in our basement. There is a fluffy, bathroom rug down there, and it must have helped some. But my ankles and the tops of my feet hurt where they hit the edge of the bottom step, and my knee aches a little where I landed on it. It was completely my fault - completely a boneheaded thing to do. I had full hands and decided to not turn on the light. And so it goes.

Little Boy's sugar was low this evening. It took me awhile to get it back up, and then we were too late to go to church. I called the head deacon's wife. I wanted her to tell her husband we wouldn't be there, but that it had nothing to do with him being a Raven's fan. ha.

Last night was a great night in our house. Pittsburgh Steelers WON. Green Bay Packers WON. And now we have a week of rest before next week's games.

Next week, though, I think we'll be preoccupied. We have a pastoral candidate coming in for a long weekend. I put together a tentative itinerary for my husband to use to plan things with the men from church. They were a bit surprised or perplexed, I don't know. They are not organized at all, and I don't think they had any idea how to even go about setting up a schedule of any kind.

When we finally get a pastor, and the church construction is done in the church basement, it will be a good thing for our church. I'll tell ya.

There are still some logistics that need to be figured out. One big one being who will get stuck in the nursery and what to do about children's church. I would really like to hear him preach. I don't think I'd be able to concentrate very well if the kids stayed in the service. I'm trying to figure something out. We'll see.

Meanwhile, I will sit here next to my Christmas tree that is still up, enjoying the quiet.

Ahhhh.

How Did I Kill the Tree?

Baby asked me this evening how I killed our Christmas tree.

Huh?

How did you kill the lights on our tree? (A small section has gone "out", and DH will find the culprit bulb when we take down the tree.)

I told her I didn't "kill" the lights, and that I didn't "kill" our tree. It's artificial. Of course she asked what that meant. I told her it's fake; it's plastic. She didn't believe me.

Poor kid. She's never seen a real one inside, so she wouldn't know the difference.

Hopefully soon we'll get ours taken down. I'm ready to rearrange the furniture and get back to "normal".

Whatever that is.

My Week

I survived the Home School Review on Monday. I barely survived getting the cookbook in the mail Wednesday. And the rest of the week seems to have just gone down the drain. My kids did very little school, and I don't really know what I did. I feel like today I have accomplished more than I had in the last couple days. All of this inspite of terrible back pain. I don't think I've done anything terrible to my back. I think it's just stress and sleeping incorrectly. I sleep on my side, and sometime in the night I end up on my back. DH wakes me and tells me to turn when he's up to check Little Boy's sugar at 2 am. But by the time I wake up, I'm on my back. And I get out of bed painfully and walk around like a cripple for an hour or so.

Today I finished, copied and folded the church bulletin, finished copied and distributed tomorrow's Order of Service page, finished the church prayer list. Wrote up the minutes from the Ladies' Fellowship Meeting a couple weeks ago, and started the agenda for the February meeting. Yay. I feel like I've earned a little TV time. :0)

Procrastination

I know I have a tendency to procrastinate. But the church cookbook took on a life all its own. I have been working on it for almost a year. Last week at our meeting, I mentioned that there were a few categories that were "light", and asked for some recipes. We were short of the 150 recipe mark. Saturday a lady emailed me some recipes. Sunday a lady handed me a nice little stack. Monday? On Monday a member handed me a PILE.

But after that meeting, and before anyone even gave me any more recipes I discovered a huge "OOPS". Remember way back when my DH did updates on my computer, and I thought the whole file was wiped out? Thankfully he was able to restore the file! But not all the original recipes were restored. In fact, a very large number of recipes were missing. I had printed the first batch I entered, and when I was proofing, I caught this problem. The worst part? All the missing recipes were from one lady. She would have been upset, I'm sure.

So between the "found" recipes, and the ones I was given, I had quite a few more than 150 recipes. But not nearly 200 recipes. So I either had to cut some or add quite a few. I added them. I used the old church cookbooks and included recipes from a couple of the older ladies who had not submitted any, and from one lady who had passed away this past year. Her husband and daughter have started coming back, and I thought they would appreciate it. And I had a cookbook a former member (who may also be returning) had given me, saying, "You can use any recipe out of here you need. I've tried many and I've never found one that wasn't great." At the time I was a bit exasperated, but last night as I finished entering recipes, I was grateful.

So when I finished about 3:30 am, it was partially procrastination, but just a lot of meeting a deadline with new materials. And when I mailed it at 11:3o this morning I was tired and a bit slap-happy.

I was on the phone with DH, and told him I was really too tired to fix lunch. I asked if McD's was ok. He said it was ok. When I asked what he wanted, he said he wanted something good. So you want "home" food? And I started to chuckle. You want me to ask for something with a whole piece of meat? I was holding in laughter. He got a chicken sandwich last week that had the smallest piece of meat on it... I could feel that crazy laughter-that-quickly-turns-into-tears coming on. So when I went through the drive-through, I was feeling "punchy". It didn't bother me that they had to bring the order out. Or that they had forgotten the Mac Wrap. And the cheeseburger. But by the time I got home, the punchiness had worn off, and I was feeling super tired. I did get to take a nap this afternoon, and the kids played quietly in the living room where I was half awake. I'm still feeling tired, but I'm pretty certain I'll be able to sleep tonight.

On to the next project: mailing out (ahem) Christmas cards. Yikes.

Church Cookbook

Is done.

It's only 3:30 am.

Have to get it in the mail today.

Off to bed!

Kids in Snow 2011

They are so much more beautiful when they've been outside playing long enough to give Mommy a break! LOL

Sharing Sorrows

My friends Craig and Stephany miscarried a baby some time ago. Today was her due date. I know they are grieving.

I know because I've grieved on my due date.

I was 7 weeks pregnant when I miscarried. I was elated, flying high one minute, and completely devastated the next. It didn't make sense. When the ER doc told me that my OB/GYN was willing to come in to do a D&C, I declined. I needed time to process what he was saying.

I don't remember if it was the next day, or two days later that I went in. I kept hoping someone would tell me there had been a mistake; that everything was fine.

I remember the stupid things people said to me. People close; people who should have known better. I remember the ridiculous things sending people into tailspins of depression. I wanted to scream at them all. I had a baby, and now that baby was gone. And their petty problems didn't compare. And the attention they were getting just laid stones of hurt at the bottom of my broken heart.

I know that months later, when people had completely forgotten that pain was still there. I'd cry at the drop of a hat.

When I did get pregnant again, that excitement I'd felt the first time was replaced with caution and fear. Then a friend of mine lost her baby the night before he was to be delivered. And the fear grew. It didn't go away until the doctor told us we had a son.

I found a box in our den this past fall. It was a smallish box, and I thought it was full of rose petals. But when I opened it, it was full of baby things from our first baby. A pregnancy journal I had started. A stuffed animal. Baby booties. And sympathy cards. And I sat down and cried.

I don't know who that little baby would have been. I don't know if they would have been a boy or girl. I know they are in Heaven with my Heavenly Father, and with my earthly father. And even though it's been more than 8 years, I still grieve. And cry. And my heart goes out to my friends because I know what they are feeling.

Sharing sorrow doesn't make it any easier.

TO DO LIST:

1. Finish proofing Church Cookbook. Need to get it in the mail Monday.
2. Put together records and sample work for kids for homeschool review Monday.
3. Clean church Saturday.
4. Finish Sunday School lesson.
5. Finish bulletin, copy and fold it.

ANYTHING ELSE?!!!

I'm a bit overwhelmed right now. So I HAVE to get off here and get SOMETHING done.

A Day

It's been a day. We got up, fixed breakfast, got things ready to go. I asked my son to get his "big kit". This is the kit we carry when we need to take along insulin. I walked past our cabinet where we keep all the "D" stuff, and I didn't see the vial. It must be in the kit. We got to Little Boy's therapy appointment on time. We talked a bit before going upstairs, and I asked him to check his blood sugar. He said it was 447, but I thought he was having trouble reading the number as he sometimes does. But when I looked at it, he was right. I asked him to check again. (I hate to do that to him.) 445. I told him I'd have to give him a shot.

But we don't have any insulin!

I asked why it wasn't in the big kit?

We went home. Therapy session will have to be rescheduled.

I gave him a shot. A couple hours later when it was time for lunch, his number was still high. I gave him more insulin. He woke up from his nap low. Treated the low. His sugar is fine for the moment. Now to figure out a treatment for obnoxiousness.

Credit

One of the areas I need to work on is not needing to get recognition or credit for things I do.

Being an adult stinks sometimes. I'd just like a smiley face at the top of my paper every once in awhile.

Up Early

It's early for me to be up. But I asked DH to wake me up when he left for work. It's actually kind of nice to be up while the kids are still asleep.

I slept on the couch last night. And then when DH got up, I crawled into bed. I am feeling much better for the moment. I am hoping that I continue to feel this good. I really don't want to go to the doctor.

I need to gather stuff to get ready for this morning. And I think I may need an allergy pill; it feels like I'm getting hives already today. It's a nearly daily thing, and if I deal with it quickly it's not too bad.

Mystery

I've been having pain. I called a nurse hotline tonight, and I may go in to the ER tomorrow if I'm still feeling badly.

My best guess? Intestinal, bladder or uterus. Or maybe it will just be a gas pocket. But in any case, I'm ok when I sit, and it's not too bad when I am standing. But when I've been sitting for awhile and then stand up... It's pretty painful. And my lower abdomen is quite painful when pushed on. I've been avoiding my children since they tend to think they play defence and I'm the target. ha.

I'm hoping to hold out until Monday. But I'm not making any promises.

And whatever it is, it better not interfere with the endo appointment Little Boy has in Morgantown that we made 10 months ago.

Seriously.

Son singing

He likes to make up songs. Right now he's in the living room singing a rock ballad type song -

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I am a disco dancer."

Let's hope not.

2011

So far, so good.

Last Day

It's the last day of the year. I don't have anything profound to share. Maybe that has something to do with the misery I've been in the last couple days. I was afraid I was going to have to go to the doctor or hospital. But it's ok. Nothing to worry about.

Nothing a little cherry flavored Phillips Milk of Magnesia couldn't solve. Let me just tell you - that slight hint of cherry and NO hint of milk was the most disgusting thing I've ever voluntarily drunk. The label says it works in 1/2 hour to 6 hours. Hmmm. Try 10 hours. And they should just call it Draino.

I still am in pain, but not like I was.

DH - let me just say how much I love that man. He is so selfless. He worked Wednesday night at the mill, at the Union Hall Thursday, and last night when he should have been zonked out in bed, he ran to the store to buy the afore mentioned relief in a bottle. He also did some grocery shopping. I just hope I feel more like eating later b/c he bought a couple bags of frozen shrimp.

We have a candidate coming to church in a couple weeks. I have much more peace about this guy than the last yahoo.

I have a list of things in my head that I want to accomplish, but I haven't written them down yet. Maybe I'll find some time today, and I'll post them tomorrow.

I always feel like I've made it; I've survived when I get to this day of the year.

Surviving is good. And the possibility of something better next year is encouraging.

Hypochondriac

Today I go in for a mammogram. I've never had one before, and I'm a bit anxious. It's not just the actual lung squishing; going to a new place freaks me out. New procedures freak me out. And this procedure that requires some nudity is making me anxious. In fact, I took my anxiety meds last night, and I'm still feeling anxious. And sick. I took laundry downstairs and put in a load. When I came up, I felt like I was going to pass out or barf. I had to sit down and put my head down. I could feel the cold sweat breaking out and that weird feeling I get before I get sick.

So do I have a bug, or is my body trying to get out of my appointment? I guess there is another possibility: maybe laundry makes me sick! Yeah!

All I know is that I have to get one, and I might as well get it done today.

Now that I've got myself all worked up.

It would be a shame to waste an anxiety attack.

Christmas

I know it's a "magical" day for kids, and it should be thoroughly enjoyed. But I get in such a funk it's good if I can just survive.

We had a good Christmas. My husband bought me a beautiful Christmas floral arrangement that I have on our dining room table. I love to look at it. I asked for a new Bible; I even picked out the engraving on it. So I knew I was getting that. It's a pretty Bible - my first NKJV. And he wrote a sweet note inside. And then I opened another gift. It was a video of my favorite Christian comedian - Brad Stine. It made me laugh to see what it was. I also got some bags of goodies. And DH bought a video series for the family - The American Heritage set by Wallbuilders.

The kids liked what they got, but they were anxious to go next door and rip into the piles of presents they knew would be there. Little Boy got a Leapfrog Tag reading system; Baby is mesmerized with it. I might have to get one for her. @@

DH and I were up late last night, too. He found out Friday night that he was going to have to preach this morning. Nothing like short notice. Too bad I'll be teaching children's church and won't get to hear him. I know he'll do a good job, though.

I'm glad it's over. I'm glad I survived.

Christmas Eve Day

My house is about as clean as it's going to get. I might tackle some more laundry, but I think that's about it.

I have some more gifts to wrap, but I think that will be something to do after the kids are in bed.

I made some Spritz cookies today, but I might make another batch this afternoon.

We removed the last stickers on our advent calendars. We missed a few days here and there, but it was a great idea that I want to do again next year.

Tonight is the church's Christmas Eve candlelight service. Mike is "in charge" of it, and is working hard to make it nice. He and I are both singing tonight.

I think the kids are going to burst wide open from anticipation. Baby in particular. She walks around begging to open a gift. She says she just canNOT waaaaaiiiiiitttt.

I know she's excited, but I hope she's not depressed when it's all done.

I love that Christmas is on Saturday this year. It gives us a whole day to enjoy the holiday before heading back to church.

I am feeling better about the holiday, but not feeling that great physically. Blech. Sinuses, arthritis and PMS attacking all at once.

I have a list of things I didn't get done - like Christmas cards - but I am not going to beat myself up. I'll get to them next week.

Toothpicks

Last night, after the kids were in bed, and after DH and I got to spend some time talking. I made a list. And I left for Walmart close to 1 am. So when I got home at 3:30 I was kinda wide awake. I put away groceries and hid the little stocking stuffers I had bought. I wrapped a few presents, and climbed into bed at 5 am. UGH

So when my kids got up at 7:45, and I needed to pee (sorry), and my husband was still asleep, I got up with them.

So now I need some toothpicks. And something to calm my nerves. And some duct tape for two little noisy people. Maybe I need some coffee.

Now you KNOW I'm tired! ha

Blown Cover

We've always taught our kids that "Santa" is a fun story, but Christmas is really about Jesus' birth. Our 5 year old is a little caught up in the whole Santa thing. And it doesn't help that her grandmother tells her that SHE believes in Santa. It bothers me a little, but my kids also say that each of us parents and her grandparents are all Santa.

Tonight at supper, she informed us that she really knows who Santa is.

The UPS guy.

ROFL.