I'm not a hater

I am getting tired of "the left" labeling proponents of traditional marriage as haters.  It's a lot like my 6 year old daughter calling people who don't let her have her own way a "big bully." 

Note to self

I don't think I've ever met someone who second-guesses themselves or theorizes as to why someone does something more than I do.  Until today. 

It's annoying.

Stop it! 

Frustration Bible School

Our church's VBS is in 10 days.  Our director is not with it, to say the least.  I've been angry, frustrated, irritated and indifferent and many various combinations of these feelings.  But I keep reminding myself that VBS is for the kids.  I want it to be awesome for them.  So I have to keep giving myself an attitude adjustment and keep refocusing my attention.  I've had to raise my hands and give up on things I cannot control.

So when Baby asked me the other day if I was working on stuff for Frustration Bible School I had to laugh.  A much more accurate name for our program right now, for sure!

Letting go

I seem to have a very difficult time letting go.  Especially if I see someone taking over and doing a poor job.  But I need to let go for my sanity.  And I'm trying my best to let go. sigh  I find myself chanting (in my head - I'm not that crazy yet) "Let it go. Just let it go."  I wonder how long I'll have to say this?

Elevated Above Paul

It is in every person's nature to be offended when one's motives and even actions are questioned.  And if  a person isn't all-out offended, there's always that niggling hurt to deal with.

I think I've mentioned here before how I question everything I do.  I wonder if I'm being selfish, I wonder if I'm doing things with ulterior motives, and I wonder if I'm acting like my mother.

That's the emotional side of me.  The logical side of me says, "Fire away!"  Especially when I feel like what I've done is above reproach.  It's like having someone proof my work.  When I'm sure I've done things correctly and I've checked and double-checked it already, I'm fine with someone looking it over. 

Paul commended the Bereans for comparing his teachings to Scripture.  He was glad they were checking up on him; that they had the personal investment to question what he was teaching.  We should not be above that same attitude.  So when a person or an organization takes offense at being questioned, it galls me. 

I've seen my share of proud "leaders".  I've seen people who usually wear a great church face or Christian face chew out students for accidents.  I've seen these same "leaders" complain that they aren't being treated with deference.  What?  Seriously?  Jesus was not a respecter of persons.  The last shall be first.  The meek shall inherit the earth.  So do not be afraid to question the action of those who have been put or have put themselves in postions of authority.  On one hand they may be an authority figure, but they are also your equal.

A Lie

Somewhere along the line, we've been taught a lie.  And being the good little Christian sponges we were, we soaked up the untruth that in order for us to be blessed or to be in the center of God's will, we had to commit our lives to full-time Christian ministry.

It's a lie.  Like I tell my kids, it's a lie from the pit of Walmart. (lol)  It's not true; it's not practical.  It's a tool of Satan. 

I think I really saw this for myself when a pompous A$$ told my dear sweet brother that he would never be anything unless he was in "F-TCM".  Really?  I saw a Facebook post today that almost made me sick to my stomach, and it had to do with this idea.

It's this thinking that fans the flames of self-righteousness and pride. "I" am in F-TCM, and you are not.  "I" am in the center of God's will for my life, and you are not.  "I" "I" "I".  "I" have been there.  I'm ashamed.  And now that I'm a stay at home, homeschooling mom, Satan tries to use that thinking to defeat me.

How are we to be salt and light if we never live in the world?  Jesus didn't tell us to live together in our little convents and occasionally venture out to share the Gospel.  We're supposed to live in the world - rub shoulders with sinners - eat with the prostitutes and the lepers - SHOW them God's love.  Show them that the Gospel makes a difference.  Not that we can get together in church and put on our church faces and sing pretty dirges songs to God's glory. 

Chonda Pierce touched on this when I saw her with Natalie Grant a couple months ago.  She said she was excited to see Christians competing on AI, and other entertainment shows - they are being salt and light where salt and light are needed.

I'm not saying Christian schools or college are wrong.  I'm not saying homeschooling is bad.  I'm not saying that we should throw our children out into the darkness unprepared.  But we cannot tell our children that God's blessings only fall on those who preach, who teach in Christian schools or who go to foreign mission fields.  Not with any Scripture to back us up.

How'd we get so busy?

It feels like we are running in circles.  I've been busy before, but with DH's weird work schedule, church, doctor appointments and now baseball has started.

Tonight Baby had her first game.  It was a fiasco getting ready.  I was a little late getting there, but Daddy had taken her down to the field.  She's so cute in her uniform.  And no kidding, she stands like a "big leaguer".  She hit the first pitch twice, and then hit the second pitch her third at bat.  It's t-ball.  She's going to do great next year when she moves up to coach-pitch.  We like her coach; except when he encouraged her to slide into home plate EVERY TIME.  :)  It was cute, but it I'm sure it will be fun cleaning her white pants.  Actually, Little Boy's socks were worse; the playground has BLACK dirt, and he was wearing crocs.

The kids are a couple months into piano.  Little Boy is really doing well with reading the notes and with timing.  Their teacher says he's doing great.  Baby? She's doing great, too.  Teacher shows her something and she can repeat it.  I'm not surprised by either of their strengths.  I'm really pleased that they have a teacher who motivates them as she does.  They are each working on a simple hymn.  Once they have it down, she'll play a duet with them in church.  They are both nervous and excited for that. :)

We have a lady at our church who had a baby a couple weeks ago.  The ladies at church are throwing her a baby shower.  It's going to be a ladybug party. :)  The invitations and decorations are going to be adorable.  I went to the local candy store and got red, white and black candies.  That store has all kinds of candy I remember from when I was a kid - wax bottles with candy inside, candy cigarettes, pop rocks. :)

Last week when DH was in Milwaukee, my diet went completely in the rubbish bin.  And now I'm back on it, and doing fine.  My plantar fasciitis is feeling a little better.  I'm looking forward to being able to exercise and get this show on the road.

Little Boy's numbers have been pretty good lately.  He's had a couple lows at the 2 am check.  I think that's always the most frustrating thing.  He'll have a great number at bedtime, and then at 2 he's dropped.  Energy is stored in the liver during the day while he's active.  It is released hours later, and his sugar drops.  But it's never consistent.  I just try to not worry too much.

Tomorrow is another busy day.  I'm glad DH is working as union pres this week; he'll get to come home for lunch all week.  The kids and I sure like to see him during the day.  I'm afraid we're going to be spoiled.  Kinda makes up a little for his week away.

New Format

First post in the new format.  Don't know if I like this.

Little Boy scared me yesterday.  We were on our way to church and he freaked out.  His cap came off his tooth.  Long story short - it was a baby tooth that was pushed out by an adult tooth. Praising God.

DH and kids went to dentist this am.  Baby will need braces eventually.  She had two teeth fall out to make room for one coming in.  Apparently not a good sign.

Dentist sent a toothbrush home for mommy.  Seems I've not been there for a long time.  I know I need to go.  I have at least two teeth that will need work or pulled, and I just don't want to go. :(

Want to share a cute giveaway on a sweet blog.  This sweet girl married a former student of mine, and she writes a really sweet blog.  I know I'm using "sweet" a lot here, but she really is. :)

Gotta go.  More later on dieting, homeschooling, diabetes, crafting and a baby shower I'm helping with!

My head hurts

Sinus pain. I'm sure it's allergy-related. But it's quite annoying.


Kinda like people at church. So awhile back, DH, the kids and I went over to the pastor's home for dinner. We talked about the Easter service a bit. I asked if the kids would be in the service, or if I would need to teach children's church. I also talked about the egg hunts we'd done in the past. Pastor didn't give me an answer regarding the kids, but said we'd hold off on an egg hunt until some time in the future.

So I was completely caught off guard yesterday when Ms. P informed me that she and another teacher are doing an Easter egg hunt for the kids next Sunday.


WHAT THE HECK? So I emailed the pastor, asking what the plan is and what I'm expected to do. And what the kids will do during the service, if not the egg hunt.

He wrote back; Ms P. had spoken to him a couple weeks ago about the egg hunt. It's just something fun for the kids to do during the break between the breakfast and the service. nice. whatever.

And he thinks the easiest for me would be to keep the kids in the service. Well, I don't know about "easiest for me" but it would be nice for me to be able to hear one sermon every other month or so.

Tonight Little Boy had his first ball practice. I want to call the guy who puts the teams together so badly and tell him he SUCKS. My son has 3 or 4 other kids who have played before, and the rest come up to his armpits. I'm not lying. The team that came to practice when we left were all huge. I'm so p.o.'d it isn't funny. What the HECK!???

I am just one angry momma. And I don't see a change anytime in the near future. >:(

Blah

Tired, down, overwhelmed, uninspired, fat.

Just a taste of how I'm feeling right now.

Being an adult stinks

I remember being a kid thinking I couldn't wait until I grew up and could do whatever I wanted to do. ha ha ha

The other day Baby barfed in her bed. Daddy cleaned it up while I gave her a bath. She was nauseous for another day or so. Last night when DH came home from work, he drove home with a doubled Walmart bag at hand incase he got sick. About 12:30 I heard him. There is nothing worse than hearing someone retch. And it brings back really bad memories of my dad.

About 2, he got up to check Little Boy's sugar just in time to hear LB get sick - in his bed. We got his bed changed, and DH went back to bed. I slept at the end of LB's bed; I think I'll be a cripple today.

I've been working on putting together activity packets for kids at church for Easter. Maybe if I have more notice, I won't forget some of the things I had planned. I found a new cute blog that I can use for ideas. I love finding new blogs. It's like getting a new magazine in the mail. :)

It's been awhile

since I last posted. I'm still doing the Atkins thing. My jeans fit. I know I could lose weight much more quickly if I would exercise. But my foot has been killing me. After researching online, I'm pretty sure it's plantar fasciitis. :( One of the main ways to heal this condition? Lose weight. grrr.

Baby barfed in her bed last night. :( About the time we got her and her bed cleaned up, it was time to check Little Boy's sugar. And then we collapsed into bed.

I think Baby got sick from eating junk at G&Gs and from crying for me last night while I was at the ladies' meeting. This meeting went much better. More later.

FAT

So I don't know how much I've lost, but I'm still FAT. I bought a new nightie - size HUGE - and it doesn't fit. So while I was trying it on, I looked at myself in the mirror and almost threw up.

I have a long way to go.

Blech and Blah

I ate too much pepperoni casserole for supper. It is hard to not nibble/snack/pig out while I'm fixing it and cleaning up.

I've been feeling lonely today. It would just be nice to have a friend here. I want to be closer to my friends and family.

Progress

I'm not sure how much weight I've lost, but my pants are falling down. :) So I must be doing something that's working. I think the weirdest thing is fixing a meal for my husband and kids and then eating an Atkins bar or drink for a meal.

I've been dealing with a lot of frustration lately. Most of it stems from church and church people. So I'm trying to let go of trying to control things. It's really hard to do that.

I got a beautiful bouquet of red tulips from my husband today for Valentine's Day. :)

The kids are outside playing. School today was a fight, and they've been very rambunctious all morning. I'm looking forward to naptime, so I can take a nap! I'm falling asleep sitting at the computer.

I was looking at a fat people's clothing catalog today. Makes me mad that they have skinny people modeling the clothing. I want to see what that shirt looks like on a fat person, not someone wearing a size 6.

Need to make a valentine for my husband tonight while he's at work. Probably should help the kids make some cards, too. But I get so freaked out with markers and glue and stuff. Oh well. I'm sure they would enjoy it.

A couple fails

last week, but for the most part I have really stuck to my diet plan.

And today started out great. So I'm going on week 4? I think? Doesn't really matter, I can see some results.

Tonight is our ladies' fellowship meeting; I hope some people show up. We changed the night we meet to accomodate some people. We'll see if they show up now. I'm getting a bit discouraged that we can't seem to get people out.

Gotta get moving; kids need to start school. :)

I try

to not offend people with my opinions if I know someone in the room/group holds different opinions.

But it gets really hard.

Sometimes I just wanna smack people.

Ok. Vented.

Can you ever have too much

bacon? I had a couple packages that were close to the expiration date, so I baked them in the oven. It seemed the quickest way. It made a big splattery mess in the oven, so now the oven is cleaning. I ate too many pieces. It's a good thing I'm doing Atkins. I'm sure the high fat content isn't healthy, but it's all protein/no carbs. I finally had to grab some gum.

I tried my jeans on today. I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I was impatient. When I started, I could barely button and zip them. I had them on for about 15 minutes, and I couldn't stand it. I got them on, buttoned, and zipped them. They were ok. Still a little snug, but I could probably wear them for a couple hours and be ok. I'm a little disappointed. I guess I was hoping they'd be looser. Another week or so and I'm hoping they fit correctly. And then hoping in another couple weeks they will be too big. I know I can do this. I just have to not get discouraged. And I should probably lay off the bacon. lol

We stayed home

from church today. It's been awhile since we've done that.

Little Boy and I were both feeling sick. Baby was very unhappy.

Today they had a dinner after the service, so they were upset to miss it. And it was the men's chili cookoff; Little Boy made chili. He was so sure he would win. Baby felt left out, so I let her help me make sandwiches. Looks like we'll be eating chili and sandwiches for awhile.

I have stuck to my diet. Atkins sells treats that are less than 5 net grams of carbs, so I might have one in the morning or afternoon, or both, and not feel guilty. I figure I've cut my carb intake by 75% since I've quit snacking and am only eating one meal. My "fat pants" are getting loose. :) Yay. I'm going to wait until Wednesday to try my jeans on. I am not tired of the shakes yet. I bought enough for the next couple weeks as an added incentive to keep it up. I seriously would like to lose 50 lb by summer. I know to do that I need to increase my activity level. So my goal is to start on the treadmill soon. I know that's procrastinating, but I need to work up to it. LOL

And I am really striving to get the kids' school stuff into a routine. The folders are still working really well.

This is going to be a busy week for us, so if I don't start on the treadmill this week I am not going to beat myself up. One thing my therapist has told me is that I am too hard on myself. I feel like many of my problems are a result of not being hard enough on myself. oh well.

Anatomy

Baby got several model horses for Christmas. They're fairly anatomically correct. ahem. She asked why the boy horse has a triangle and not a penis. So I explained that when they pee, it comes out, and when they are done it goes back up for protection. I just said it as expressionless as I could. Both laughed. I also explained that the size is proportionate to their body. I don't want them to be freaked out if they ever see it in real life, I guess. Little Boy laughed. "It must be really big! Mine is little, but I can pee alot!" I tried to not laugh; I figured they would not find it so funny or worth repeating.

Tonight DH and I were watching the news; Baby climbed up on me and asked, "How do you love a boy without being grossed out?"

DH and I both had a good laugh.