"We don't do Halloween"

My Gyn doctor asked what my kids were going to be for Halloween. I almost said, "Monsters", but they aren't really that bad. I just told her we don't do Halloween. She looked at me for a minute - I don't know if she thought I was going to elaborate. She just said that surely made this time of year a lot easier.

Well, I for one don't like this "holiday". When I lived in the city, I had to hide my black cats. (I do think this cartoon is Hillar-ious - I don't know who the artist is, but they did a great job!) Even now, living in the boonies, I have to work not look at all the grotesque junk in people's yards. And then try to explain to my four year old why people are so gross. I try to divert his attention to something else, even imaginary so he doesn't see the worst stuff, and if he does, I basically lie to him about what most of it is supposed to be.

I don't have anything against people who celebrate it. We just don't. There are zillions of costumes that would be acceptable/adorable in my mind. But I don't think my kids would enjoy walking up to strangers' houses for starters. I don't think it's right for them to work that hard asking for candy that I won't let them eat. I know my son in particular would be scared to death of the costumes and decorations that others think are cool because they (the decorations) are so scary or macabre. (This is the boy who hollers to change the channel or runs and hides in the hallway if something suspenseful happens on a cartoon.)

I know people think we're silly for how we feel about Halloween. I enjoyed it when I was a kid - dressed up as an Indian, a cowgirl, or even as a bum - not some character from a slasher movie with an eyeball hanging down to the chin carrying some instrument of death. And to make us even more ridiculous, we don't hand out candy. So, please, don't ring my doorbell.